


survival

by RoyalB



Category: Game of Thrones (TV), Game of Thrones RPF
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fiction, Magic, Original Character(s), Realistic, Swords, Valyria, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:14:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 23,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24000436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyalB/pseuds/RoyalB
Summary: Valyria, a city in it's height of power. There were rumors. There was fear. The blood-mages, in their high tower were watching like vultures down on the city, looking for anyone, who would disobey. The dragon-riders, the old heroes and protectors of the city are nothing more than glorified guards, trained in an art of warfare, useless for the modern day. Just policing the city, killing things below the sorcerers interest. A little private army.Sherine, one of the few of the new generations of the dragon-riders, is feeling the air in her hair, easing her mind. The fresh air, past the clouds of smog, many feet over the city, eases the pain, which is felt by everyone. Something dark, something dangerous is rolling towards this prosperous city.
Kudos: 3





	1. Tale of the doom

**Author's Note:**

> Be the first one to tell me what you think about my fic :D

The Valyrian were in the wrong and the world revolted. Some believe it was the spirit of the Roine, which revolted against the oppression of the native people in the proximity of the river, who took it as their god. When the Valyrian poisoned the river, killing the natives the spirit made sure this wouldn’t happen again.   
Others believe, that it was the biggest dragon, dying in a cave below the city. Never had a master and so kept in captivity. Without freedom and place a dragon won’t grow. This one did. It became as large as an ordinary dragon, maybe larger. And kept in captivity a dragon couldn’t become what he came from. The freest thing there is. Fire. Fire made flesh. When a dragon became old and was close before dying of old age he flew towards a small island. The world has never seen this place. It’s a dragon graveyard. Many dragons over the years came there to die. Life out their last moments on this world in complete freedom. This dragon on the other hand had nothing like freedom in his live and when he realized his time has come to become free for the first time in his life, he speeded up the process. He blew all the gasses out and ignited them to become fire again. A chain reaction ended up happening, with wildfire and other explosives would develop a firestorm. Consuming everything living around the city, destroying it. Erasing it from existence. That’s the way the citadel describes the doom.   
But what really happened only the ones responsible new.


	2. Magic in Valyria

Left to grow strong by itself it grew too strong to control. Like the undying were saying: magic is the strongest in proximity of dragons, and there were many dragons. Since magic was so prominent, in that time, not only respected but searched for, the sorcerers in the black tower used blood magic, to get more powers, the rest of the word wouldn’t even dream of. Using the blood of human children, dragons and animals, they created their own enclave in the city, where nobody was physically able to get in without having their seal of approval. At first, they were supposed to protect the city. They did, they had success doing it, and becoming more powerful, every time they did. Using the blood of the slain armies, they made themselves immortal. Even the most powerful families in the city wouldn’t dare to speak up to them, fearing the consequences, involving living sacrifices. Not of animals but of their sons and daughters. With nobody to keep them in check, they grew too strong to control.  
Since the mages kept everybody sort of save, there was not much to do for the new generation of dragon riders. Earlier while the city grew in size and not in height, others, jealous of the riches of the city, dared to attack the city and were fought back by the dragon riders. They were true heroes. Defending the city, living for the city and dying for it.


	3. Sherine

Far over the highest towers, the air was clean. There was a soft smell of spring but still, something was off. The air was too flat, there were no birds and all the dragons seemed nervous. The dragons felt a danger was rolling towards Valyria. With no explanation but one single decision, every dragonrider seemed to have chosen, to land, to tell the mages, they should know what is going on. Every dragon except two were now on the ground. Sirius, a rider who was trained with me, still many years older than me shouted at me: “Come down, even if there is no danger, you may at least make some good impressions for the noble boys down there.” He laughed, “They probably don’t even know, that you exist, and that would be too sad.” A grin followed his sentence. “A rich family with slaves…” My squint made him stop. “I’m sorry” he tried to row back, “I forgot, but I’d bet, you would be a better master than all of them bitching and whining girls from the nobles.” He had me smiling again. “When they see you, you won’t have a single minute of time alone.” I shook my head. “First of all, I don’t want anybody who just wants me because of my looks, I want to know him or her, I’m ok with both…” I winked at him. On a more serious note I continued “And if there is a real danger coming, I want to be up here. I want to see what’s going on. And if not, well I had some alone time with Senna. Something I value more than a big house with slaves!” Now he shook his head: “Ok ok, I get it. Well then, we will see each other in the barracks. If you are right, I’ll give you one out!” He was always that ignoring of danger. That’s what I liked about him. He was the only one who could get me of the wall, when I was upset, sad or angry. He would come to me, even when everybody else was leaving me. He, his dragon, Serion and Senna were the only ones left, I cared for in this godforsaken city. I shouted: “I bet on it!” and then quiet “And good luck for the wars to come.” “No fear!” he shouted back, making a silly salute.  
The explosion hit the city. It reached us in mere seconds. We both fell, ripped out of the clouds, like ripe fruits from a tree. I closed my eyes. Trying to stay calm and let my dragon reclaim security. She felt my trust into her, but she couldn’t get back up. I felt her pain, her sorrow, that she wouldn’t be able to protect me like in the years past. The only thing she was able to do was to slow our fall. She protected me. My fall was soft, but still hard and everything went black. What happened to her, I couldn’t tell.  
When I woke up, the only thing I could think of was her. I needed to search for her! And when I would find the ones responsible, kill them. The firestorm came from the highest city tower. The place, where the mages conducted their experiments. Blodmagic. Forbidden in any other city but thriving in Valyria. They had overdone it this time. After the explosion nothing was standing anymore, only ruins and the smell of burned flesh. Nothing, no dragons no human no beast no animal. Nothing had survived the doom except of me. Because my dragon saved me.


	4. Waking up

I still lied, rolled on my back, felt a pain in my back. The handmade chest armor had been deformed. It was like a heavy club had smashed it with such a force, a dragon had sat on me. I tried to take it off, but I couldn’t find grip of the leather straps holding it in place. I looked at my hands, they were bloody and bruised, shaking from the shook. The pain continued from my back to my legs into my feet. “At least it’s hurting, that means I can move.” I mumbled half loudly, realizing that my voice was prickly. I started coughing, spitting out blood. I tried to sit up, the bent metal cut into my skin and made curse. I reached for my sword at my belt. I could feel the outline of it on my left leg. I followed the line of the belt, trying to find it. I tried to unsheathe it, but it was blocked. I tried to sit up and lean against a near wall. It was bent and the metal cut the leather sheathing open. “shit!”, I coughed quietly. I opened my belt and pressed the sword away. The shining metal contrasted highly against the blackened floor. It scratched over the floor and made the first sound not made by me I heard. 

My fingers slowly stopped shaking and I could loosen the strings. Since it was spring and getting warmer, I only wore a shirt under it. It was out of cotton and thin. For now, it was too cold. 

The wall behind me supported my attempt to stand up. I didn’t see anyone, didn’t hear anyone. The place where I was, was abandoned. I started limping away from my crash side.   
I screamed for someone, but the only thing that screamed back was the city, with its deafening silence. I wondered aimless through the city, hoping to find someone.  
I was alone.   
I reached the outer wall in the south, a small desert had formed here, reaching till the see. Small dunes formed like waves hindered my sight of the large water. But it looked different. The ground looked harder. The sand shinier. The desert had turned into glass. The fire had turned the desert into an uneven mirror. A deathtrap. No way to get across.   
I looked to the east. I saw the smoke of the woodlands. The woods were still burning. I walked westwards. The Roine was flowing from this way towards the see. Now I was near the higher-class domiciles. The barracks of the dragonriders were near. It was relocated, away from the slums, after the mansions of the rich were raided from infiltrators of one of the local tribes around the Roine.   
\- We raided them back and killed most of the men, standard procedure for uprisings against the city.   
I entered the living building. The place I lived in, for most of my life. Nobody was standing guard. I walked through the empty halls. Everybody was outside, patrolling, guarding…  
I realized there were no bodies, no blood stains, nothing told the story of the doom except the destroyed ruins of some building near the mage-tower. It was like the city was drained of life.   
I reached my room. I looked around. I never spend much time in it. More often than not I stayed with my dragon in the night. A made bed, a desk with chair, died flowers on it. A stand where my armor was placed on it and a holder for my sword. “Don’t need those anymore…” I went backwards and left the room, close the door. “Maybe someone has clothes?” I thought but abandoned the thought. I would not steal of my comrades. I knew them, I just couldn’t do that.   
I took the first step outside after visiting my old home. I felt a soft weight lying down on my skin and hair. It was white, looked like snow but a bit bigger and not as cold. These flakes slowly floated down, creating a thin layer of white over the burned ground. I tried to ignore the thought, that these flakes were human burned bodies and went on. Still looking, for what I forgot.   
Without thinking I walked towards the ruling building, which was across a larger place, which was used to inform the people of the city of news and sentence criminals of high interest.   
I made my way up the white marble stairs. It was a blinding sight just moments before, now the towers were gone, blasted away, the white statues of proud rulers where burned and the stone melted down. The intricate faces and robes were washed down, the posture of the men pointed down, looking at the stairs. when passing them I felt their looks, piercing through me into the stone behind me. I entered the blasted open doors. The entrance hall was in a similar shape, like the dorms of my housing. It was still an impressive sight to behold. Marvel pillars with gold plated leaves, mosaic floors and silk hangings. Everything in a matching color pattern. I was still standing in the entrance and a multitude of glitters caught my eye. I followed this shining on the floor. I was only a few times in these halls. Burials and weddings were held here. I never realized the gems worked in in the ground. A soft breeze tickled my skin, swirling inside the hall and lifting the pressure in the air. It lifted dark clouds of the ground around the shining spots on the ground. The dark spots where not highlights but spots where people stood when they turned to ash. I started to run. Stooped, spitting spiting out the dust I inhaled. The air transferred. The dust was somehow sweet. A disgusting taste, mixed with a bitter, burned taste.   
My stomach reacted instantaneously, emptied itself. I fled through the main hall, trying to evade the piles of human dust of the deceased. A small room was my save haven. It was the place where all the guardians of the city were lying, who died defending exactly that. “Now for nothing, I guess…” I thought, still coughing.   
The graves drew me towards them. I wandered past the newest graves. Gerriues was the newest one. He fell from a horse and broke his neck, after riding a dragon for 50 years. It must have been a bad joke for his family, that he was buried here. Visible for everybody, next to the great defenders. The next one was Cassius the fierce, Tinver the great, Cassandra the just. I stopped at a grave I was familiar with. “A friend lies here.” Shot through my thoughts. I wanted to leave these memories behind. I couldn’t think of them now, for my sake. I went on, running through the corridors, passing 600 years of the highest men to defend the city, left and right the graves piled next to each other. The last one was Drius the defender, the first to climb a dragon, the first dragon rider, first hero of the city. Probably not the first one who died for the city, but the first hero. At least the trainers told us so. His tales were glorious. When he died, he died as an elderly man, still swinging his sword, killing several foes but then being overrun. He led the last charge against the enemy and earned the deciding victory. His sword was out of Valyrian steel. This sword would not corrode, wouldn’t get blunt or damaged. The perfect weapon. I looked at it, lying on his chest, his fingers lightly holding it. The stone had its hand on it for a long time and it seemed to be retired, but the blade still wanted to be used. It made me feel, that it had a consciousness of its own, lusting for blood. It spoke to me, telling me stories of honor and glory, forcing me to lay hand on it. I took it out of the greedy hands of the stone and unsheathed it. I was ready to be faced with a heavy sword, something large and too unhandy to use for myself. But it was like made for me. It was light, slim and with a balance I would never be able to compare to anything else. I would bring it to better use than leaving it with the dead. My first thought commanded my action. It was now mine and so I named it. “Keeper”. As a memory of my dragon, my city and myself and my friend Sirius. That way I would keep them in good memories. But also the ones not named here should be kept in memory.  
I would need to leave the city at one point or the other. I had no supplies and the surrounding was still smoking and burning. The smoke was as dense as a curtain. Making any attempt of trying to guess the time near impossible.  
Since I had too much time to do nothing, I start doing something. I wandered through the city, finding other places which weren’t that bad damaged.  
The great library was close to be unharmed and the books only in a very dry condition. In theory the people should have survived in here but seemingly nobody was here, even in a while... But since there were places that weren’t damaged that badly I still had hope to find someone living. Be it a dog, cat or preferable a human. I strangely realized, that the silence that fell over Valyria was… sort of nice, living in a city where dragons flew over it, roaring, the mines, the forges and all the humans were quiet now. It was like humans never were here in the first place.  
I walked slowly between the cliffs of books and scrolls. The most titles where about battles, fought and won in the past. People learned the art of warfare in these halls, but the blood mages changed everything. There was no reason to learn any of this anymore. The mages kept the enemies away from the city, and the enemies in the city were nothing we, the dragon-riders, couldn’t handle. Then I came closer to a wooden gate, made of hard timber wood. A shield told me rudely to turn away. I ignored it and slashed the gate open with one swing of my sword. It seemed as the wood made my sword a free passage through. And my sword went through as easy as through butter. “What a beauty.” I gasped, looking at my sword. Those books behind the gate were full of grey dust. They pulled me towards them. I swept the dust of one book away. “Introduction in battle magic.”  
I remembered how my training continued. We had classes and used that book. I never was a good student in magic. I never was strong with it. I only was able to block attacks with a basic shield. My fire magic was more something for lighting up candles and not to make somebody light up in flames. Some students of magic could do more. Even though you could be born a mage, everybody could learn it. Some would be stronger than others but those with enough dedication and talent would be able to achieve massive feats. And that was only the beginning of the power scale. Blood magic, that was the absolute power. These books, bound in leather, thick and heavy, contained knowledge of immense power, I felt strange leaving those books behind. But I wouldn’t be the one to destroy them. But they wouldn’t survive the storm of time.  
The air left the building. Breathing was getting hard. The building wanted me out and I followed. When the massive building spat me out, it was already late in the day. The sun hid behind the massive fog and the only thing reminding of its existence was a light glare between the clouds. It was getting darker by every minute.  
Most of the ground was white like snow, particles flew around in an empty surrounding. The wind was still. Not a single blow of air relived the stress put on the air. It was the burned remain of the people of the city, stones wood and animals, joined to one bitterness in the air. I had to get out of here. And that as fast as possible, before I myself would turn into a fossil. I took my shirt before my nose and mouth. I had to get to a higher place. I had to gain vision. The only way to get out, was surviving as long as possible, and find a city or a village. Then everything would turn out the way it’s supposed to go. Therefore, the only place, I would be able to do so was the tower of the mages. If only one of them would have survived I would behead him right where he was.  
Before I would have never imagined to be up there. It was the last place a dragon rider would be. As one could represent one´s case before the “wise rulers”, can be named hero of the city and marry a girl or boy of a great family to get access to the ruling buildings, but to get up the tower, one would have to be chosen as a child to become a servant or born as a mage.  
On my way to the tower, I realized, how beautiful the city was. Massive arches, many statures of former important people and beautiful facades. Everything was designed to be as impressive as possible. Every single house tried to overdo the one before. I never saw it the way, it was then. Either, I was high up, where the smog of the city covered itself. Or on the floor, the markets, the people and animals in the city always blocked the view. They covered the beauty by their presence. Now the city was …  
clean, empty, dead.


	5. Silence

I realized, that I would have to hurry, to get to the top of the tower, when I wanted to see further then the light of the moon could provide. I started to jog, passing the house of the masters, I saw chains, chains which were used to hold slaves, now they were holding nothing, not even bones. No…, I remembered what I wanted to remind myself, by naming my sword. “Keeper” I gasped. Remembering the people, I was once part of. Those chains still held something for me! Myself, my parents before and their parents before that.  
I left those memories of me, the slave of the city, the people, who build, served and died for the city behind me. Turning left, I started to run. I felt something pushing me, a feeling that someone or something was stalking me, with hungry eyes, it followed me through the ruins of the street. I turned into the street of the builders, “How arrogant!?”, I almost cried out. “The best houses, build by slaves, rebuild by slaves and designed by them!” tears of the memories from the past reached my present. The hunger, despair and loneliness came back. I forced them to stay away. Not allowing to feel sorry for myself. “Just shove some money in somebody’s asshole and the house was built!” I waited for a response, nobody wanted to interrupt me, so I continued. “No wonder these slaver monsters moved their business right next to them!” Earlier I would have been stopped by Serion or an instructor, when I wasn’t careful. Now nobody… I screamed at the ruins of a destroyed mansion. The first time I let everything out. My frustration, greave and anger. The annoyance of the nothing, the silence, the loneliness.  
But the silence, it was killing me!  
I had a headache from screaming.  
my sides stung, and I was hungry.  
Out of breath I reached one house. But it stood still tall. Not a single window was broken. I stopped. I craved for someone to come out, that I could cut his head off. Nothing, not a single sound was there to hear.  
The silence was annoying me. It was distracting to hear my thoughts as loud as now, hearing my body work and hearing every step I took. I was the only source of sound. I was the one who was disrupting the silence. I was the one to blame. I quickly moved on of these thoughts and turned my anger against the house.  
I tried to run the door in. Nothing, the door didn’t move a single inch. Another time, nothing, only a dark “umpf”. The former owner must have had a mage to protect his home, unfortunately for him, not the owner himself. Ironic, valuing the ownings higher than his own life. I couldn’t do anything else but smile… Impressing what those mages could do, but it gave me confidence, that I had to hunt every single and last one of them down. They may have won this fight, but the war to come was still not decided.  
Leaving the house behind, passing the street, now sneaking further, I reached the inner tower group. Normally there were guards, not letting anybody through, “keep the peasants out”, like my sword master would have said. Now I could just go straight past it. The strange feeling overcame me again, coming closer to the biggest tower. My breathing normalized, when I reached the massive complex. I had shivers running down my spine. I realized, it wasn’t only the tower, the highest building in the city, towering over everything, but it was the mages. They didn’t want me in their living quarters, fear me away from their experiments. Keep me out of the place, in which I hoped every single and last one of them was dead. If not, I wouldn’t hesitate to do exactly that, what the doom wasn’t able to do!  
I stood in front of the main gate. A massive, with steel reinforced wooden double door, made to keep out what wasn’t allowed to be inside. I stared at it for a few seconds. A heavy door, nonetheless I tried to open it. I imagined myself using every single mussel in my body, but with a single small push. The doors swung wide open and crashed into the wall behind it. A loud “BANG” echoed inside the building, loosing itself in the ashes around me.  
Passing through the gate I entered the first floor. I had to search for the staircase. At first, I didn’t want to investigate every room to find it but since only the first floor was as big as the whole library, I had to do so. In every single room I found nothing except coles and ashes of the burned, their pets and interieur. A light white and gray layer of dust was on the floor. It was easy to see where I already was. My footprints were the perfect witnesses. After a long search for this dang staircase, I finally found it, but had to rest for a few seconds. This building was huge, the staircase on the other hand was as small as it could be. Small and high stairs, but extremely narrow. Maybe two little children were able to go upstairs next to each other, holding hands. I wanted to clear every room in this tower, I’d surly find somebody, I could turn my anger, frustration, sorrow and grief against. Many told me, that I should harness these emotions. “They will give you strength, when nothing else would give it to you. They will give you stamina, when your body is tired. They will make you unstoppable, when nobody believes in you.”  
But I just felt miserable.  
I really never cared much for this city. I was born a slave and was supposed to die a slave. If it wasn’t for Senna, saving me from that fate, I would have died in the mines or as a prostitute in one of the many brothels or the street, stabbed and thrown in the canals. Eaten by rats. She saved me by choosing me. She hedged out of the egg, escaped the underground breeding areas and ran straight for me. From that day I was a dragonrider and she never left my side. There was only one point in my training, where I had to put her in a cage. It was early in the training, since a cage wouldn’t hold my dragon for very long. She trained with me, hunted with me and fought with me. Be bandits, thieves or enemies of the city.  
I missed her…  
My thoughts became foggy climbing the stairs. The air wasn’t as dense as downstairs. Additionally, the fog, I now realized wasn’t fog, it was smoke, forming a dome above the city. And I, was slowly, climbing into it. The walls became pitch black. Everything was black. The stairs and the stones. I felt weird. Somehow there was a light red glowing. It helped finding the stairs but freaked me out. But I didn’t know what it was. Suddenly I heard crunching under my feet. Bones. Falling apart like leaves in the fall. Not one thought of trying to secure these bones for a burial came to my mind. These People were responsible for the death of millions, my dragon, my friends. Stumbling over bones that weren’t that brittle, then over still fleshy body parts. There were more people up here than I thought. Weather these people tried to run away from the impending doom or running into it, to shut it down, I could not say. Every step felt wrong. A dark rumbling became every more present, soft vibration in the air were getting hard and forcing my breath to run away from me. This place was empty. No animal was up here, not even a single fly feasting on the corpses. Everything was screaming GET AWAY! But resisting the urge to get as far away as possible I climbed even higher. While the air got thinner, the feeling of danger came closer and closer, I drew my sword, Keeper. Hoping it would protect me, same as my dragon did. The steel was the source of the red glow. It was not a glow of red hotness. More like blood, that was draining the swords magic and overloaded its capabilities to stay in its form. I never thought blood magic could forge a sword but seemingly that’s how valerian steel was made. And how it kept its form for all eternity.  
The floor became sticky, but the grip got worse, a little slippery. There was a smell of metal in the air and the glow of the sword revealed that my surrounding, slowly but steady, changed. From Chole black, to dark red. What ever happened here, it seemed that the people exploded. Their blood, the last thing to be seen from them. There was so much blood, that the stones were drained in it, every gap was filled by it. Even the sealing was colored by it. I just wanted to get down. But close before my survival instincts kicked in, close before I was about to turn around, not wanting to get lost in an infinite loop, I reached the top. A heavy metal door stood in my way. It freaked me out. You could see how the men and woman tried to get inside. The Shadows of their bodies were still there. The last thing what existed of these people were their shadow. The protection of their bodies was visible on the metal. It got weakened at the points where the heat hit it without flesh, ribs and bones in the way and it started to peel off the door. Still a heavy door, I thought, I would never be able to get inside. That there had to be multiple man necessary, to open it. I tried to open it anyway.


	6. Enlightenment

The door made some strange noises. Metal which was forced into this position had to leave its resting position and brake its bonds which connected with heat and blood. Then I heard a crack and with a scream, the door exploded open. Surprised how easily this door opened I fell after it. The sun was so bright, that I had to duck away, realizing, that I haven’t seen the sun for an eternity. The fresh air was rushing through my body and brain, making my mind as sharp as ever. The explosion must have ripped a part of the top of the tower away, revealing the sky, real clouds, the ones I was able to touch riding Senna. A sharp but young voice cut me out of my thoughts. “Who are you?” I jumped back, raising my sword. A small figure stepped out of the dark shadows into the room. Shocked that someone had survived and that someone was a little girl. “I´m Sherine, a dragon rider.” I heard myself saying and before even thinking I asked, “Who are you?” The girl had now a piercing look on her face. Looking at my sword, which was still glowing red. “What are you doing here?” The girl asked without answering my question in the slightest. I ignored her question too “Who are you and how did you survive?” I asked carefully, trying to reach her, same as you would talk to a scared puppy. She answered a bit on the backfoot, her eyes still fixated on my sword: “I believe, I didn’t…” My jaw dropped. I was confused and I wouldn’t let that girl take away, what my dragon gave me! My voice now in a demanding manner, demanded an answer “Why would you think that?” I held my protective instinct back, not getting her out of here as fast as possible. The bodies of the sorcerers were just lying around, not much blood, but the faces of terrified man looking the stone-cold floor into its soul. She stepped back into the shadows “Look around, everybody is dead!” she cried out.  
I heard her crying, I never cried, not even when I lost my dragon. I just had no one who would ever listen to me or do something about my sadness. I learned, that if I want something, I’d either had to fight for it, or pay for it. Emotion was a weakness, that nobody should see. The only thing I was emotionally connected with, was my dragon. The way I loved her… Tears ran down my cheeks thinking back. The afternoon light colored the room into a bright orange. The sun covered my face like a blanket, the warm light was refreshing and southing. The first time I stopped to appreciate the beauty of light. I lowered my sword from my defensive guard and let the sun shine in. Taking in as much as I could. Then I felt a warm body pressing against mine. I did not resist. I closed my eyes.


	7. Thoughts of the dead

Her thoughts were not letting me go. Am I alive? Better are we alive? My pulse was present, I can bleed. I had hunger and thirst, but how did we survive. I survived a fall of hundreds of feet and she survived in a room full of dead. I heard tales from the north. People were getting resurrected. There is the house of the undying. The red Priestess from Pentos, the legend says that she cannot get older nor die. But these are only tales, legends. But there is always some truth in a sailor’s story.  
“What´s your name?” I asked. Still soaking in the warmth and the energy of the sun. “I never was supposed to have a name.” she replied cold as ice, “I was raised up here, I was supposed to die up here. I was supposed to die, not the city!”. I kept quiet. I didn’t know what to answer to that. I tried to cheer her up by asking her that but…  
“You said you were a dragon rider.” I nodded, still gazing into the evening sun. “I don’t hear any dragons, where is it?”  
I freed myself from the now bind of her arms. “She saved me, and now I don’t know where she is.”  
“What was her name…” I snapped at her “What is her Name!” I calmed myself down. “Her name is Sherine.” “I’m sorry for your loss.” She said calmly “But what are you doing up here?” At first, I wanted to snap at her again, but I controlled myself. I would have to deal with the reality and try to find a way out of the city, before we both would starve to death. I asked: “Do you know where the nearest city is?” she shook her head. “Well see, I don’t know that ether. On dragon’s back everything is nearby. And we need to get out of this city. To know the best way would be a real lifesaver.” She just stood there and looked on the ground, where the ripped bodies of the mages were lying. “When will we go?” the sudden and firm tone in her vice made shivers run down my spine. “Well… as fast as possible. I don’t believe we should go today, because it’s getting dark, but…” She interrupted me mid-sentence. “Why would we wait. There are no animals we would have to fear, no bandits we would have to fight, and we need to go somewhere.” I was surprised by the sudden shift of subject and demanding voice of hers. “Well I thought, that we won’t be able to see, where we would be going…” now looking out of the hole, looking for something in the distance. I tried to remember, where the nearest city had been, but I just couldn’t remember. It was only a day, but it felt like an eternity. I stepped back from the cliff now realizing how tired I was. Leaning back against the wall not noticing, not caring, that the blood of the mages was still wet. The vibration in the air came back. Now stronger than before. I didn’t know what it was. I closed my eyes to focus on that sound. It mixed with the sounds of the doom and when I drifted away, the cries of the city, the people the dragons all came back. It wasn’t a pleasant sleep but a welcome one.


	8. Company

“I want to go now!” A penetrant and demanding voice woke me out of my dreams. The sun was gone. In its place, now the moon painted the sky into a grayish blue. I tried to stand up. “Do you know where we should go?” still struggling to stay on my feed. “This way!” she pointed in the general direction of smaller clouds rising up in the sky. “There have to be people, they are going to help us.” I was unsure. I remembered what we did to the surrounding natives, even though I did not like what I had to do, I still did it. Orders, I always told myself. I had to do it to survive. Now I know what I did but now nobody else knows it. Or at least I hoped so. “Well then, let’s get of this tower” I ordered. Trying to regain my strength, but only the look of the stairs drained all my stamina I summoned just a second ago. “Pull yourself together you bitch!” I heard someone’s voice miles away. Everything got dark. I woke up when the sun was standing high above us. “Now you get what you wanted!” this little voice who followed me into my sleep returned. “We have company by the way.” I was on my feet in seconds. “Who!” I was shocked, that anybody would look for this city after something like this had happened. “Who is it!” I repeated louder. “I don’t know who this is, remember I never was a part of this!” she cried out in defense. “Don’t worry. I will find out. Did they have a banner, some colors, that weren’t just their clothes, maybe a symbol?” I pierced her with questions. Now she calmed herself down, trying to remember anything of impotence. “There were 7.” she said. “They have brown, grey uniforms.” The people around the city weren’t allowed to have their own colors. That way they wouldn’t be able to form their own army or get a feeling of community and authority. I figured that they had to be allies of the city, even though I never heard of an army with grey as their color. “Let’s meet them.” Was my spontaneous reaction. “They are allies of the city.” Even though I didn’t know that for certain I told her that with confidence. “I don’t believe, that they are allies… And there might be more, it could be a trap.” With a swift motion of my hand I blocked her words “Nonsense! They don’t even know, that we survived.” And I was on my way. She followed me in a little distance.  
The way down was way easier, than the way up. It felt like I had new powers, stronger and more stamina. I was so euphoric, to get to them, that I flew the stairs down and ran towards the exit of the tower, just because I figured, that she wouldn’t be able to push the door open by herself, I waited for her. She trotted the stairs down and took her sweet time to get to me. “I don’t feel well with these people…” While pushing the door open, I tried to calm her down. “Everything will be alright. And if not, I will protect you. Don’t forget I’m a dragonrider!” The last part was more a comforting thing I said to myself, to get my self-esteem back up. We left the enclave of the mages though the gate I came in the day before. It was not hard to find the soldiers, the voices of them carried far. The cities silence was interrupted by their presence. It felt like live came back. The white, snow like taint of the city made me feel, like I would find new things, like the city was new for me. “Don’t run away from me!” I heard her worrying voice. “Let’s first see what they are up to and then listen. Then we can go and meet them.” I was surprised, that she was so cautious about the men when she was so open with me, but I didn’t know everything about her and so did she. I nodded. We sneaked the last part behind the destroyed buildings, hushing from cover to cover and trying to be as silent as we could be. We arrived across form the still intact house in the street of the builders and laid down, trying to listen to the men. They were talking silently, still loud enough, that we could hear them. “Everything dead he?” “Yes, poor people.” “They deserved it, everything!” the others kept quiet, after the statement was spoken, they just poked with their weapons in the dry floor. These accents of the valerian mother language were known to me. They were from a tribe south from here. A small city, maybe a couple thousand people. We weren’t at war or had other clash with them. I wondered, why he had so much hate against the whole city.   
I remembered. I knew this accent and the city. We trained there.   
We were supposed to get something valuable from the men of the city. Stealing was forbidden, selling the dragon rider’s broach was forbidden and not lose our honor. What that meant we only found out later. Striving through the city, with nothing on us except this broach and our clothes, the group separated themselves quickly. It was four days for me, with nothing to eat or drink, one of the merchants took pity on me and gave me a whole bread. It wasn’t a good-looking bread, burned and black on the ends, but it was food, the most valuable thing for me in that moment. I remembered the task, which was given to us and ran to the tavern, where we should bring our valuable goods. A dark place, no windows and bad air. Smelling after vomit and alcohol. After one searching view I saw my instructor. A small man, no charisma and a deep scar across the face. I didn’t like him, neither did he like me. He, because of my origin, and I because of the same reason. I gave him the bred, he looked at it, then at me. With a disgusted look he asked: “You think you can bring anything you found in the garbage?” I just looked at him, knowing what it was for me, I didn’t back down. “You think your real smart, don’t you?” I waited for him to hit me, dismiss me, to come back when I would have something and of cause keep the bread. “This isn’t something valuable! Slave! How dare you come to me with something like that!?” I just stood there in silence. Suddenly a man in a dark cloak rose from one of the corners and came to us. “Do you believe that that’s the way to speak to the best student of this year?” My tutor stood now, like a statue, not moving out of his salutation pose. “Move idiot, this isn’t an official meeting, don’t compromise us!” he said in a sharp tone and not even a second later my tutor reacted. Than with a softer voice: “Here you go and get yourself something real to eat.” And gave me a whole gold coin. “Now to you again, if you don’t realize what treasury this girl just gave you, then you are useless for this task.” He was circling the table and set down across and waited for an answer. “I do realize what she gave me…” He started to defend himself. “Maybe you need to do this task for yourself again?” “No sir I am sorry, it will never happen again.” I wasn’t interested into getting food anymore, I enjoyed it far too much, seeing how the person I hated the most got the same medicine, he gave to me. “Go now little one, we want to get the others something to eat too and get them out of this hole.” The four days went by for me not thinking about the others. I had to survive for myself and nobody from the group helped me, nor did I.  
After I got the biggest meal I’ve ever gotten, we searched for the others. I thought it would be impossible to find them, even in this small city, but I was proven otherwise. Everywhere a man or a woman in dark robes stood and watched over one of the trainees. They saluted in a short manor and then showed us the trainee and told us what he did. Most did close to nothing, just not getting lucky, unlike me, others sold their broach or themselves. Be it prostituting or their working hands. For every kind of behavior, there was a way they were treated and got another task right afterwards. The ones who did nothing except starving got nothing, they passed the test but didn’t do anything special. The ones who sold their broach had to come back to the city after regaining their strength and regain their broach, without it they wouldn’t be allowed to enter the city again. The ones who sold their bodies, had to regain their honor. They had to kill everybody they slept with.  
Thinking back, the best thing they could do, cleaning the streets from perverts and criminals at the same time.  
The ones who worked for some money had to work as long as it took to get 50 silver pieces. Only one boy, a little older than me was able to impress the tutors, he worked, but not with any comfort. He was able to get one gold coin in 4 days. The amount, of money could by a whole sheep. His name was Sirius.  
I was torn out of my thoughts, when a deep and rumbling voice asked us, “And what are you supposed to do? HE?” Still in shock I said nothing, but I heard a small voice, trying not to fall over under the pressure from that stomach vibrating voice, “Psssht!!! You must be quiet, or they will hear us! You can spy with us if you want.” A smile hushed over the man’s face. He ducked down to us. “Ok ok, I’ll be quieter.” With a softer voice he proceeded “Who are you and what are you doing here?” I tried to sound as childish as possible “We are spies! We can’t tell you who we are!” now he seemed annoyed, “Come with me, you will be meeting the others.” At first, I wanted to tell him, that we didn’t want to but then I realized, that he held his sword’s grip firmly. So, I complied. We followed the man, he was large, real large, he was at least 6 foot. He wore a brad sword at his hip, lower, than you normally would wear it. He didn’t wear any armor; just loose cloths and his feet were naked. When I finished my exam of him and my view trailed to his Feet I realized, that he left red stains in the white grayish ground. A fresh injury, maybe when he came up behind us. We both wore boots, we didn’t realize how hard the terrain was, before. “Your bleeding.” I said with now a different approach to make him like me, at least a little. “I can treat that for you if you want.” “It’s nothing!” He said with a rougher voice. Maybe a bit too much motherly love, I thought. Before I could say something, he was greeted by another man with a spear in his hand and a shield on his back, standing guard. He wore a hard leather breast armor, light pants, no helmet and also barefooted. “Why did you bring em here? He? They just need food…” The larger man shushed him to be quiet. I looked to my right, where my companion stood. When she heard the word food, her eyes widened. I admit, that I wouldn’t complain about some food, I thought but held myself back to show too much excitement.  
I remembered how a small group of trainees were killed by bandits, they offered them food and killed them by stabbing them literally in the back, killing all of them, with little to no resistance. Also, I remembered someone special telling me not to worry too much, because not everybody who offers me food wants to kill me. Most of the times they just want to get to know me better. I never evaluated that reason to high. Because most of the times I had other options, but this time my options were limited.  
“Hey! That girl has weapon!” Pointing with his dirty fingers at my sword. “Doesn’t matter.” He swapped the concerns of the guard away with a few words. He gave us a signal to follow him to the fire, where rabbits were grilled, close to be ready to be eaten. I tried to not get blown away from the smell and tried to stay focused. My companion wasn’t that caring about being careful. She sat next to a man turning the rabbits above the fire. “That’s Baridas, he’s from Bravos and our cook.” Pointing at the man turning the meet, he nodded. A large man, scars over his hands and wrists, a former slave I thought. “That’s our expedition leader.” Pointing at a man with a scar over his face. He looked at me with the same look I give everyone I don’t want to have anything to do with. He was not too much older than me. He had a light blade at his hip, 4 knives accompanied that blade. He seemed experienced and calm, not like the first guard to the camp, who was quiet after one hush. “I’m Sertus.” Was the reply of the leader. “My name is Sherine.” I said calmly and sat next to the leader, without invitation. He didn’t seem amused by that but didn’t say anything about it. “Now we know your name, but we don’t know your sisters name.” our captor said with seemingly more pressure behind his request. I looked at her and she gave me a smile and said, “Well my name, you can call me Senna.” She smiled at me.


	9. expected trouble

“Senna, a northern name isn’t it?” a man from the back, who wasn’t introduced to us came closer and stood above us. I tried to signal her to be quiet, but she wasn’t stoppable, she turned around and asked with a snippy sound in her voice, “What do you want? You were named too, or did you choose your name?” He was clearly shaken by her aggressive mood but wasn’t ready to retreat just jet. He started but got interrupted by me, “Be careful what you want to say old man.” I was now standing “You will gain nothing by insulting her.” He waited for a second and readied his voice throw his next attack, Baridas knew what would come, if he wouldn’t step in. “We can eat!” he almost screamed out, just to get attention and break up the stress, generated by the man. The troublemaker went back to his old position, next to the stairs and sat down. I hadn’t regained my mental back and still stood there in a threatening way, of drawing my weapon. Hand still hovering over the grip. I heard clapping, “I was actually scared for him, but you beat him, without beating him to death.” He was smiling at me now, “I thought we were going to be one person less.” I tried to regain my calm and asked him “Why is he with you, isn’t he just slowing you down?” He laughed, “He wanted to come with, this is no military operation. I still lead this group of idiots and drunks.” A few of the men laughed too. Baridas mumbled, “That the food is ready wasn’t a lie, and if you want something you have to eat now, because she’s eating everything.” Pointing at Senna, now I had to smile, seeing her happy, real happiness. I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder, “Get yourself something to eat.” The man who found us was now behind me and pushed me lightly towards the fire. I allowed it, the stress from the past minute fell of me and I sat down. “Please sit next to me and tell me your name.” I asked him. He sat, he must have been a lot older than the leader, maybe 20 or so years. “My name? Oh, I forgot to tell you, I’m Jerro.” After an asking look in his direction he continued. “I’m from the summer islands. But I came here as a child.” Baridas gave everybody in the circle a piece of rabbit.  
While everyone was eating and enjoying the moment, everything was fine. The fact, that the city we were in, was dead, didn’t trouble us. The moment was nice, sun was starting to shine through the clouds again and was starting to warm the air. The city was silent again, only the fire made noises. Refreshed by new wood and a light breeze of fresh air, coming from the south.  
I didn’t realize but out of nowhere the man from before stood across from me, pointing at me and claimed with a daring voice, “I know her! She’s a dragon rider! She’s from here and our enemy!” I just looked at him. I just didn’t know what to respond. Jerro did that for me, “You are being ridicules, don’t joke bout that.” He was close before exploding from excitement and aggression towards me. I had to dig, what does he know, or at least think to know. “What is his problem?” Sertus just shook his head. “I don’t know, he’s sometimes a little… strange but not like… I mean like that.” The man now drew his sword and pointed it at me, still with enough space between us but still a threatening movement. The blade hovering over the fire, the metal reflecting the light, making Senna squint. His hands were holding the swords almost still, his hands spoke another language, then his face. Calm collected and prepared.  
I stood up slowly, making sure not to make any threatening movements, to not endanger the others, in uncontrolled violence. “I don’t even know who you are.” This time, I forced myself to keep my calm. “But you seem to know me quite well, even though you might confuse me with someone, but know that, when we cross swords you won’t survive that!”, “OH! You don’t know me???” “Shut up Mesweg!” the guard from before yelled. “Nobody cares about your shit!”, “NO! I won’t allow that southern bitch and an enemy in-between us! Feasting with us and laughing with us!”, he fired back. I slowly drew the first part of my sword, showing him, that mine was not dull, expecting him to cope and retreat, seeing something as visually impressing as this sword. “You didn’t mean that, right?” I asked, still calmly. “Oh yes I did!” he laughed hysterically. “I DEMAND a dual to the death!”, “With pleasure!” I replied, ice cold, without even stopping for a second.  
He held his sword still in front of him, no guard position, no real technique. I opened my belt and let the sheeting of my sword drop to the floor. My clothes widened and disguised my movements. I stepped back from the fire, waiting for him to do the same. The others pulled back and formed a half circle around us. The only source of light, the evening sun and the fire, turning the white ground in a bright orange.   
I looked after Senna, Brasidas was holding her by her shoulders, I could sense her unease, she was more stressed, than I was.  
He closed the distance between us. His breath was now heavy, adrenaline was pumping though his veins and widened his eyes. I smelled a hint of alcohol, -this man is crazy- went through my head.  
I moved into a passive stance, the sword pointing at him, facing him sideways. Not giving him any target to attack without running into my sword. He tried to mimic my stance but failed at it. His feet were still faced towards me, making his stance immobile and irritating his balance. A short smile glanced over my face. I knew who I was facing. Inexperienced, drunk and abusive.   
I stroke first. His sword as my target. A test.  
The strike came fast and hart. The swords clashed.   
The sound of metal hitting each other was a pain in the silence of the city, I felt his hands. -Stiff-. His sword springed towards the ground. He tumbled after.  
I stopped mine after the hit, lowered it a little and held it, his throat in front of the blade. He realized, that I had him. He stopped moving, waiting for me to end him. “We are finished.” I whispered, lowered my sword and pressed it against his breastplate and pushed him away.  
He stumbled and fell. “Never!” he screamed, I heard one laughter, getting silenced by one short “Shht!” He picked himself up. “TO DEATH!” Not waiting for another attack, he ran at me with full force. Sword first, aiming for my chest. –He really wants to kill me. - this realization made it easy for me.  
One swift step aside was enough to dodge. He passed me and I sliced his back. My blade tasted blood. I didn’t feel any resistance when going through his armor at his back. But the tip of my blade was wet, red and still thirsty for more. He seemed surprised, that my blade had hit him, but he didn’t look like a man who had an open cut across his back. I remained quiet. Lowered my sword, to give him a chance to surrender. He came in, in that moment. -Does he want to die!?- A high attack. My dodge was slow, and I evaded the blade only by an inch. My sleeve got victim of his blade, getting ripped open. –not sharp- flew through my mind. He pressed his offense. Went for a slice directed for my offensive leg. Not ready for another dodge, I had to stop his cut. I rammed my blade into the ground and stopped his. His face contorted by the pain of the vibration of his blade, crawling up to his open wound. With my free hand I flinged my fist towards his face, hitting his chin. I heard the cracking of bones, no teeth clashing, -My time! - Rising my sword, fainting top, following up with a sideways cut. Missing him. Following up with a cut from the top, easy to dodge but meant as a bate. -take it! – he engaged into a sword log.  
I pressed down with both my hands on the handle. Forcing him to react. He turned his, facing my blade with the side of his sword, holding it up with now both his hands, one at the point and one at the grip, he felt save I this position.   
“Do you know what I’m goin to do with ya when I’m finished with ya?” I answered by leading his sword into the air, letting loose of my sword and letting his slip up. Forcing mine down, cutting in his left upper arm, holding his bastard sword up. This time he would feel the injury, I made sure of it. I hit the bone, pulled, cutting even deeper. “YOU BITCH!” he screamed, disgusted by the fact, that he felt this much pain. Tumbling back. The adrenalin slowly lost its usage. His face was tormented by pain.  
“You are going to die.” Watching the blood spatter out of the wound. “I could help you.” He kept quiet, trying to overcome the pain, he felt in his whole upper body. Reading himself to charge at me again. “This will be your last attack.” I said calmly and getting again in a defensive stance, now lowering my body a little, giving my sword room to look smaller than it actually was. Still mobile but a better position to counter. I directed my attention again at him. He held his sword in one hand, slightly turned and his injured arm behind him. He waited for something, hinting that I wouldn’t see a move coming. His face told everything about his condition. He needed me to be distracted, but I was focused completely on him.  
A scream shattered my concentration, louder than every clash of swords, and higher than any sound the men around me could make. -Senna! -, then a step behind me, turned around and cut in one motion, hitting an arm reaching for me, a second cut followed, into the upfront leg of the aggressor, he dropped, squeaking in pain. I turned around, as fast as possible to my enemy, capitalizing of his window. I just saw a blade coming straight at me. I tried to turn away, dodging his stab. I felt the cold metal hitting my pelvic bone, hearing the metal scathing along my bone, ricocheting and ripping the skin open, following through, into the air behind me. My blade didn’t ricochet. It stayed, where I put it. I felt a weight on my sword, pressing down.  
He was impaled. My sword in his stomach. His armor didn’t help. My sword went straight through. “I wasn’t --- wrong about you!” He coughed as loud as he could, spitting blood and spit into my face. It smelled like vomit, blood and alcohol.  
I turned the sword inside his body and opened the wound channel to kill him. Sparing him from any more pain and sparing me from hearing his voice ever again. He fell. Slipping of my sword. Dying still on my blade.   
I let the blood drop of it and swung it at the ground to clean the filth of it.  
Senna ran towards me and hugged me, slung her arms around me, trying to hide me shaking, “You should have killed him when you had the chance!” She whispered, “No additional risk next time!”, her words were spoken lovingly but with a bit of anger behind it. I looked at Sertus and the rest, who had watched everything closely. “If I hadn’t warned you, you’d be dead now!” I answered the hug, “I didn’t believe.” “What?” she interrupted me. A swift smile visited my pained face. “I was going to tell you.” Making a dramatic pause. “I didn’t believe him to have the spirit to fight on.” She remained silent, expecting me to continue. “I didn’t want to kill him.” She looked at me with a pained look. “You didn’t want to?”, she freed herself from the hug, “That didn’t look like you were going to spare him.” I looked at the others, evading her question. They were treating the wounded man, who tried to intervene in the fight.   
The sun was gone, the fire was reduced to a lightly glowing pile if ember and the moon made the scenery appear in a blue light.   
I looked down; my surrounding was colored in red. Shining against the white ashes in a bright contrast. In the middle of a sphere, the body of the slain lied. The puddle of blood still increasing.   
It looked like one of the modern paintings in one of the noble houses. Painted in red with few white spots around. In the middle a dead man lying, waiting to be forgotten.  
“Who is that?” I asked with antipathy, while my voice was still vibrating from the adrenalin, still flowing thought my body. Holding my side, where the blade had claimed its price. “I’m his son.” he replied with a pain torn face. The cuts weren’t deep but enough to cut mussels and flesh. He wouldn’t be able to walk alone for the next months, maybe years. I got closer. “Why did you do that? I could have killed you!” He kept quiet. Brasidas went in for him, “He’s young, inexperienced! Can’t you understand him? He tried to protect his father!” I just stared at him, trying to imagine, what it would have felt like, to witness your father getting killed right in front of you, with nothing more you could do. -Kill him! - shot through my head, that’s what Senna told me -risk evasion -, “She was an orphaned.” Sertus threw in the round. “She didn’t have parents. Trained to be a killer, a dragon rider.” Pointing at Senna, “She’s probably too. But too young to be in training to become a dragon rider.” I nodded. He read me like an open book. But with one thing he was wrong, and I didn’t plan to tell him that. -Never tell someone something he doesn’t need to know. -   
“We should all rest now; we will start walking the next morning. Till then sleep!” Pointing at the boy “And we have an injured man with us. We may have to carry him”

“Just let him here.” I heard Senna whispering through her teeth.

I covered my wound as best as I could, protecting it from dust and dirt.


	10. Realization

After my short rest, everything hurt. My hands were sticky from the food and blood, my face was crusty, from the dry blood Mesweg spat on me, I tried to clean my wound but there was no clean water, where I could do that and so cut a piece of my shirt, to bandage it. I felt just truly off. Sertus was already up and much too happy for my taste. When I tried to roll around, to catch a little more sleep, he noticed me being awake. “Oh, you are up too, how do the northern say, the early bird catches the worm!” he laughed, and I, I didn’t understand.  
I stood up, no use to try to sleep any longer, we would walk a long distance today, so I might find somewhere to clean myself, but first I had questions.  
“How did you know?” I asked him with a quiet voice. “What?” I was annoyed by his play. “You know exactly what I mean!” “Oh, that… I almost forgot…” he played his part further and I was close to just turn away. “Well I’ve seen your looks.” He saved the conversation. “You looked at Brasidas, but not in his eyes, his special skin, but his wrists.” Pointing at mine, “Then your look, when you saw the boy on the ground. You didn’t understand.” He paused. “You were a slave, maybe a long time ago but you were one.” I looked at him, trying to find something, “I did understand, I know what death feels like.”, he shook his head. “Nothing like that.” He saw my face, riddled in questions, about him and the whole situation. “Why didn’t you intervene, when you knew who both were?” he looked at me “You want me to do what that that boy did?” I was confused by his question, “Stop him? Mesweg, the boy, I don’t know, stop me!” he smirked at me, “Why should I do that?” he was pointing in a direction, signalizing me to follow him. “You let me kill someone’s father before his eyes!” he was leading, walking down the street. “Don’t you blame me. You draw the sword and killed him in the end by yourself.” He turned around “You could have spared him after you had him after your first move or kill him in that moment evading that whole debacle with that boy.” He waited for me to answer, when I didn’t, he continued “I know he didn’t deserve a quick death, but his boy didn’t deserve this…” we walked a few feet further. “I didn’t want to kill him!” I broke out. “I knew what he was feeling and I knew why he felt this way!” he stopped in his step and looked at me. “That cut on his back should have been lethal. How on earth didn’t you want to kill him?” “Instinct.” I replied, “That moment, I couldn’t do else.” He looked at me with a pained look of a much older and wiser man than he was. “Don’t lie to yourself girl. There are enough people who will do that for you.” “I’m not” he interrupted me “Don’t, it will destroy you, if you are not true to yourself and your decisions.” Pointing at a bucket with water. “Here clean yourself, but remember, you can’t clean of scars.” Pointing at my wrists, “Those are for live. You may hide them, they might not be obvious to anybody else, but you know, that they are there.”  
He silenced me, called me a liar, not regarding him but to myself. Schooled me like a little child and I just stood there. Watching him go back to his men.  
He was somebody who would realize your wounds even when you hadn’t even realized that you were in a battle. My feelings about Mesweg were true non the less. Before the fight I wanted to see him dead, no questions. I wanted to see him to kneel before me, pray for his live and then loose it. After the first clash, the first sound of violence, I knew something. He wanted to die! But what did he want to accomplish by dying? While fighting there was a change in me. I felt pity. Before I was determent to kill him after the fight, I told myself that I didn’t. Everybody seemingly knew better. But I knew that a broken man won’t try anything to revenge. A dead man will cause trouble.


	11. time

While washing myself I had time to think. I heard people laughing. A relaxed and harmonious scenery. I couldn’t see them but know that they were there. A feeling of security I missed ever since. I washed my anxiousness away, my stress, my fears. I felt born anew.   
No clothes stuck to my body by sweat, blood or dirt. No blood in my face, no smell of dead. My hair wasn’t as sticky as before, I remembered what it felt like, being clean. I cleaned my shirt, cleaned it from everything I’ve done in the past three days. One could see through it a little after that, but I didn’t care enough to let it dry. - They won’t try anything. They know me, know what I can do…-  
I started humming, letting a soft voice exit my body I kept away for a long time. My humming was calming. I did it before, when I calmed my dragon and she replied with her warmth.   
I tried to remember a song I could sing but there was nothing and so I just hummed in the air just by myself. A voice, calling for me, interrupted the southing sound of my voice. “Sherine, we want to go.” I heard her but didn’t react instantly. I faded slowly back into reality.  
A small head came sneaking around the corner.   
“What are you doing??” I splashed her with some water, “Didn’t anybody tell you, that that’s not how a little girl has to behave?”. “No. Nobody did.” She replied with a sarcastic voice. “Your singing was beautiful.” she added with a softer voice. I blushed. “You’ve been listening.” A short smile came over her small face, shining at me with all what she could give for the moment. Mustering me, “Leave that shirt of.” My confused look made her laugh “Your breasts. They might not be what I hoped for but may give us an advantage.” leaving the corner, laughing short and dirty and running back to the group. “Thanks for ruining the moment.” I mumbled.   
I got my shirt back on, leaving the bucket where it was, may the ones who would discover it think of it what they want. Following her with slow but steady steps. Opened my shirt up a little, closing my belt above my hips, highlighting my figure and protecting my wound. Letting my white, long, shining hair fall on my shoulders, tickling my back. Trying, that the others would see me as a girl again, regaining the feel of a sweet innocent girl might not be possible but her advice should be an advantage I should use.   
“So, do we want to go?” My voice had again regained its strength. The men were just waiting and fooling around. When they noticed me they became silent. I smiled at everybody, trying to seem as open as I could. Sertus came from behind me, laid one arm around my shoulders and whispered “It’s nice, that you showed us all that but it’s no use. Everybody except the boy you injured has a woman at home, but I mean do as you like.” He added laughing “Maybe the boy would appreciate this though!” the other laughed. Then in a commanding tone “You heard what, the lady said! Let’s go!” with these words everybody began moving. Packing their stuff and getting ready for the long walk. I stood at the side, watching fast and skilled hands flying over the camp, cleaning it of their existence.   
We entered the forest in the east. This was not the direction, where I would locate the city. But I remembered. The river was flowing in waves. Taking the form of an injured dragon. After the city it was strait. The people had removed the curves for better shipping, straightening it in the process. The river before the city was still in its natural shape. Too deep or too fast to cross. And so, we walked sometimes along a curve of the river but most of the time, trying to walk in a straight line, to not prolong the endeavor.  
Our march was semi successful. The injured boy made problems. His wounds infected themselves and produced wound liquid. It smelled and the men carrying him didn’t want to anymore. They were disgusted and scared of infecting themselves. I was no wound doctor and only knew what was deadly and what not, I couldn’t help. We had to build a slide, to put him on and pull it.   
When we stopped, to camp for the night, I could still see the smoking ruins of my home.   
“Time to rest, I don’t want to hear a word till tomorrow.” Sertus ordered with an annoyed voice. We had used much more time than expected and didn’t come as far as planned “We have to get further tomorrow!” Senna called me towards her, I laid next to her. “Maybe drop some dead weight.” She mumbled. We moved closer together. I could feel her, hear her. I wasn’t alone anymore. I had someone. That’s everything I needed for this night.


	12. hope and despair

The fresh air hit my face, streaming through my hair, lightening my mood. The sun gave me all her power. Above the clouds, this is everything to live for. The speed and the power, it was out of this world. A connection made its return. A closeness I only felt with… SENNA!!!   
Pain, sorrow and greave overcame me. The loneliness I tried to banish out of my hard was filling it up. I was lost again, wandering aimlessly in a white desert. I heard myself crying for help. Screaming out, stumbling, being insecure. I was slowly losing my connection to the one thing I had held most dear in my live.  
A cry, something not human, but still, it had everything in it to understand. I tried to follow the cry, but I couldn’t move. I was rooted in my place.   
Then I saw her.  
Saw the grace of my dragon.  
I began to cry. “I found you.” I whispered. But the image was slowly losing it’s clarity. “NOO! DON’T LEAVE ME!” I cried out but it was too late.  
I sat up right with tears in my eyes and had only one thing in my mind and had to speak it out. “SENNA” I spoke the name with so much passion, that she woke up. “Ahh, why do you wake me?” she yawned. “Senna, she’s alive!” “Yea, no shit she’s alive and quite angry that you woke her!” she rolled her eyes and tried to go back to sleep but I didn’t let her. “My dragon! Not you! She is alive!” “How would you know?” she asked without turning back to me. “I saw it. I saw her in a dram, a dragon dream if you like that better.” She turned back towards me “A dragon dream?” she asked skeptical. “It is a way to see in the future. One family’s daughter had such a dram about the doom, nobody believed her that a danger would come but her father did listen and moved away, where I don’t know. I didn’t believe her at first as well but now I know better and I will listen to my dream!” she rolled with her eyes, “Follow your dreams girl, I won’t stop you.” Falling back to sleep in an instant.


	13. scars of the past

I couldn’t go back to sleep anymore. I tried to but it wasn’t granted to me. I stood up. Left my resting place and walked towards the fire, where a guard sat and rested his eyes. He wasn’t sleeping, I could hear his breath being regular. I sat next to him. He opened his eyes, looked at me and smiled. “Can you sing?” he asked, “I want to hear something from Valyria, I was never there before, I want to preserve something of it.”   
I kept quiet for a moment, thinking of what to say. “I am no bard.” I said, “I know but as a soldier you must have some songs, don’t you?” I went back in my head, went to the initiation ceremony, but it was only instrumental, I went back further. There was a song. It was beautiful. I remembered the melody and started humming. He was listening, his eyes wide open, trying to get everything in his head, before it vanished. I stopped, “It’s a sad song, at least for me. It was sung at the funeral of a friend.” He still nodded and smiled, “Still I want to hear it.”  
(Grieve no more, from Patty Gurdy)  
“Now rest you there, in spite of the storm that is raging  
Faith goes and comes, as long as the seasons are changing  
I am sure there is a safe valley for you and me

Where we would fly, in joy we’d cry four our blessed land  
For what we strive would come alive and you would grieve no more

Where we would fly, in joy we’d cry for our blessed land   
For what we strive would come alive and would you grieve no more.  
Forgive me now for all the times you were falling  
My daring, I accompany you in your mourning  
I will tell you a safe valley and sing my Loralie

Where we would fly, in joy we’d cry for our blessed land  
For what we strive would come alive and you would grieve no more…

I went quiet. I had tears in my eyes, he had too. A round of light and silent applause from the men near us followed. I didn’t look up. “Tell us who he was.” I heard from behind me. I didn’t want to answer, I did it anyway, the first time I was open about the loss of a man in my live.   
“He was a friend.” I started “He was the person I could turn to when nothing was good.” My voice lower but lighter than before. “He supported me, when everybody was turned against me.   
I met him in a tavern. He was shrouded in black and I was starving. There was a test prior, for every trainee and I had finished. My tutor didn’t like me and so he didn’t want to acknowledge my success. He stood in for me. Giving me food and water. I was very young then and he didn’t treat me any different because of that. His name was a northern name. It was Seron, sunny as the brightest day. I named my dragon after him and she doesn’t know it but its her name as well.” I pointed at Senna, where she was lying, like a puppy, rolled together, hugging her legs as means to keep warm. “He was my mentor. All the others encouraged violence and death. He knew that these are the ways to win but he didn’t want it the to be words to live by. He was gentle, just and always nice. He was killed when I was away, hunting traitors, hiding in the woods. They weren’t a lot of them, but we killed them all. No prisoners, as ordered. We didn’t know that there were more in hiding but they did under our noses. They blended in with the merchants and when he walked by and spoke to them, they believed, that they were spotted and murdered him, by stabbing him in the back, slicing his throat. We had our revenge, even though it wasn’t his way. We hunted every last one of them, like the rats they were, torturing every last thing out of them and then let our dragons feast of their remains.” My mimic got darker as I revisited my past. My memories of my mentor were swept away by the hate I felt. The sorrow of what I couldn’t do to protect him. When I heard of his death, I felt helpless, the same way as I felt when I was little, chained up, next to people who’s hopes lost in time.  
“What did they do?” I heard Senna asking. She seemingly woke up while I told my story. “I never found out. They fought against us, that was enough for us.” We kept quiet. Everybody kept this way till the sun rose and the woods became living again.

We carried on.


	14. something new

We left the forest behind and met the river. It wasn’t deep but wide. The perfect place to cross. The water was as blue as the sky. So clean that you could see the ground and the fish swimming in it. The white sand was soft and felt like a blanket, over my feet. We had taken our boots of and walked slowly towards the other side. Senna walked closely next to me and Sertus walked ahead. He led. The others followed. When we were in the middle of the river he stopped and turned towards us and pointed up the river. We saw smoke in a distance, not grey but white one. Small houses, little fields surrounding it. Then he pointed in the other direction. We saw the still smoking remains of the city, smoking in the grey of burning stone. Covered in fog and only the tower of the mages was visible from the far. Both were sights to take in. “It’s not too far anymore, maybe two or three days, then we are there.” he started walking again. “Let’s rest on the other side.” Senna said, “I’d like to be clean again.” Sertus nodded and pointed at the other side “There.” Everybody passed me. I had my eyes still focused on the tower. What went though my head was clear. I tried to remember everything. Relive my live, before leaving this part for ever.  
When I came closer to the point Sertus pointed at, I saw nobody, but clothes lying on the floor. I left them there too and followed them into the river.   
The water was relaxing and warm. I let my thoughts drift away and watched them following the river and loosing themselves in the distance. Letting them go was easier than I thought but I held one thought.  
My dragon was still alive. That was the only thing I kept in my mind. 

“Let’s stay here for a while.” the suggestion of them man from last night was met with overwhelming agreement. Sertus seemed annoyed but finally agreed. “We are late anyway, why not a bit later.” His drifting eyes caught mine. I smiled for once. He smiled back, then in a hurry looked away.

“Let’s prepare the camp.” Brasidas ordered “Somebody come with me to collect wood!” Senna stood up in an instant, “I will come with you.” After these stressed days, it was nice to hear her young and soft voice again. “Look at her, she’s the one to get the biggest piece of the meat this evening, you can copy that behavior for yourselves!” he mocked.   
I got out of the water, dried myself and put my clothes back on. I felt cold. Sertus came to me, “Can you write?” he asked me quietly. “Of course I can.” I answered and regretted my answer instantly. “You want me to write something for you?” I asked with a redeeming voice. “Yes, you read my mind.” He answered lightly. “I need to write a letter to…” a scream interrupted his quest. A familiar scream! I let everything where it was and started sprinting. Wood, leaves and branches whipped my arms bloody. “SENNA!!!” I screamed. I broke out of the woods into a clearing. I saw her, cowering in the middle of the opening, crying, next to her, petrified, Brasidas. Around us where 7 men in bronze armor, hovering in the air, choking, clinging to live. Sertus stepped into the scene, out of breath he screamed “STOP THAT, YOU ARE KILLING THEM!!!” I hold him back, to not step towards Senna and whispered to him, “Who are these men?”, “I don’t know, I DON’T CARE! Let them go! NOW!” his commanding voice wasn’t as effective as it once was. “Senna, what did these men do?” I asked guardingly. I heard them dropping one by one. “Leave one alive, for questioning.” I tried again. She looked up to me, realizing who we were. Her eyes glowed with the magic she just unleashed. Purple sparks flew of her, as she ran towards me, her grip around the neck of the last survivor loosened. He started coughing. Senna buried her face in my belly, I heard her sobbing. Slowly Brasidas regained control of his body. With a harsh look in my eyes I watched him come towards us. “What were you going to do with those?” pointing with my head at the dead men around us, my hands closed around Senna, protecting her from any more that would come. He kept quiet for a while, then he regained his voice. “She…, She saved us.” He was still visibly shaken, from what had aspired here just moments ago. “They were attacking you?” I asked, a little confused, “They are all wearing bronze armor, shields, helmets and castle steel.” I paused “and you were, I mean, just you two…” I heard Sertus questioning the sole survivor. “Can you stay here with Brasidas please.” I ordered her. “Please don’t leave me.” She was still sobbing and bracing against my body. “It will be only one moment.” I loosened her grip and walked towards Sertus. I drew my sword. “Out. Of. My. Way.” I said firmly, loudly, still restraining myself, my voice, close before breaking out into screaming. Sertus jumped out of my way. I stood before the man, still coughing, sitting, leaning against a rock. My sword appeared in front of his face. “Who. Are. YOU?”, nothing, “There is only one rule in this situation.” I said with a faked sweetness. I rammed my sword through his hand.   
“YOU. ANSWER. ME. NOW! Understood?” the last part was again in my faked sweet voice. I continued. “now, who are you?” I purred, not letting his hurt fulfilled scream stop me. “not wanting to talk hm?” my prim smile faded into a hate filled face, “THEN. YOU WILL LEARN. THE HARD WAY!” I turned to Sertus, “knife, now.” He followed the order like a dog, reached his belt and drew one of his many knives, turning it in one hand and reaching it to me. When I grabbed it, he held it firmly, “Are you sure you want to do that?”, I grinned dark. “Oh, I am sure, I was trained for this and I will know what I want to know.” He let go of the knife and turned his back to me. “now, where were we?” I simpered. “oh yes I remember” the mans face got white. “I will start with your fingertips and work myself every bloody and painful inch up, till you have no arm left, then I will continue with your other arm.” I smiled at his face as I told him his fate. “so, shall we start?” I asked with no intention of letting him choose to not start. The knife penetrated his first fingertip, burrowing its way beneath his fingernail. I ignored his screaming. “you seem to enjoy this; shall we start with the next one?” I purred into his ear. I waited for his heavy breathing to stop and normalize again. When I turned my attention towards his next finger, he opened his mouth “stop, please, no more. I will tell you.” “Ah see that wasn’t so hard was it.” The irony in my voice almost hurt. “Who are you, why did you attack a little girl and an unarmed man?” He looked down, “You will let me go when I tell you?” “Yes, yes, you are free to go, when you tell us, now hurry.” I was surprised to hear Sertus voice speak up. “We are from Issos, I am from Issos. That guy over there was se rōvēgrie belmurtys Nos Estoaor hen Issos, the great slaver Nos Estoaor from Issos. He was sent to capture more slaves…” I cut him off, “You are a slaver!?” my words cut through the air, into his flesh, like a hot knife through butter. I could see how chills ran down his spine. “NO, NO, PLEASE, I just followed orders!” his pleading was slowly fading into sobbing. My eyes were ice cold, fixated on the bloody knife in my hand. “Where are the captured to be slaves?” my voice was shaking “They are to the north of here, beyond the river.” His voice shifted, “You will die there, even with your naejos mage, we are many!” his voice regained a bit of strength. “But maybe you will become a slave you faela bitch!” he laughed hysterically and spat on the ground in front of me, missing me by a bit. I turned around, “Didn’t you miss something?” he cackled, “I had hoped you would say that.” I turned around and smiled at him, slowly elevated my arm and threw Sertus knife at his throat, it buried itself deep into the men’s neck. “but… you told me…” he spattered confused, spilling blood out of his lips “His words not mine.”, pulled my sword out of his hand, cleaned it with his clothes, reached for the dagger and did the same.

“ARE YOU MAD?” Sertus shot at me after a few steps away from the body. I ignored his outburst for the moment. “I gave him my word!” he calmed down a bit. “Well first of all you told me to embrace me, myself, not lie to myself, no? Then he was a slaver and they don’t deserve to live, for the lives they ruined. And technically you didn’t break your word, I did.” I sheeted my sword and reached Sertus his dagger, “No keep it, I don’t want to have anything to do with This.” He pointed with his head at the dead. I nodded and stashed it in my belt.


	15. worries

“Do you know where they camp?” Sertus just looked at me like I just turned my sword into a bunny. “I know what you want to do but I tell you now, NO!” I grinned, “You misread my intentions, I want to know how far away they camp, to know if they had horses, if they are near, we can steal some, if not we take them of the dead.” His surprised face made me laugh, “But what about the slaves?” We walked towards the uncommon pair, waiting for us near the clearance, a large man with dark hair, dark skin and old weathered leather clothes, next to him a small girl, her eyes still glowed in purple, she had regained control over her emotions again. She had ordered her long black hair. Her light skin tone was disturbed by the red of teared eyes. “You killed him.” Brasidas stated. Senna came closer to me and close her arms around me. “Yes, less pain, less risk. But Sertus can tell you all you want to know; I have to speak to Senna alone!” I grabbed Senna lightly by her shoulder and moved her. “Wait!” Sertus interrupted me in my doing, “What about the slaves?” he repeated his question “I won’t let these people’s fate in the hands of these slavers! Nor will I decide the fate of my men!” He looked around, searching for approval. “You don’t need to decide, it’s already decided.” He stared at me, “You want to let them die as slaves? I thought better of you.” With one sharp look I made him regret saying what he just said. “Of course, we will free them, but with the men we have we won’t have any chance. I want to go to your city; rally all the men you have and free them. I like my odds better when we are many as well.” And after a short pause, “And no word about this! We killed them, nothing about magic or supernatural!” I ordered, leaving the two behind and went a bit away with Senna, reaching the point where she stood before, the grass was pressed down, like after a storm had pressed down the harvest. “Ok, lets talk.” I said, when I knew, what I wanted to say. She nodded. “You know what you did?” she shook her head. “You used magic. Strong one as well.” She looked at the ground, “I didn’t know I had this in me.” Tears again over came her facade. “I killed the mages in the tower!” she whispered, “Look what I did to them, it had to be me!” her sobbing almost made it impossible to understand her. “What if.” I responded with a surprising serenity. She didn’t understand. “What if you did? Would that mean something bad?” I asked her but didn’t let her answer, “These people were bad people, they were bloodmages, they destroyed the city, they wanted to kill you, just like the slavers.” Pointing in the indifferent direction of the bodies lying in the high grass. “It is nothing to be sad about. They deserved nothing better.” I smiled at her, “You did great.” Slowly the purple in her eyes faded away and made room for her ocean blue eyes. “But no word about your abilities, you need to train them, now they are only connected by your emotions, dangerous and random. When we get the chance I will try to give you advice but for now, let’s keep low.”

“We have bad news!” Jerro came towards the two of us, when we came closer to our camp. “We found the horses.” “But that’s good, isn’t it?” Senna asked, “Yes that’s good, but there are 8 horses.” “But there were only 7!” Senna looked at me, “We have to move now, we can’t wait for them to attack us.” I ordered. The others nodded, “We already prepared everything, we can get moving now.”  
One weak voice from the ground emerged from the tumult in the camp. “You know what that means don’t you? Now, we are at war.” The boy who was injured while my fight with Mesweg spoke the truth. They will have revenge, they would come and attack, if not us they would attack the city or anyone around the city. The guard from the camp in Valyria spoke out what everybody thought, “We can’t defeat Issos, it has the biggest army on the continent, fueled by slaves, growing bigger every time they get more.” Well that might be a problem, I thought, didn’t say anything but the thought made my stomach feel uneasy.   
We saddled up. Senna rode with me, Sertus alone and leading. The other 6 took the other horses. The injured boy was towed behind a horse, like a sled in the snow, just that this ride was bumpy and most likely no fun for him at all.  
The horse Senna and rode was a stallion, most likely the horse of the leader of the group. A strong and impatient beast. Still it reacted to my commands like a well-trained dog. We made progress and when the sun almost hit the horizon we arrived at the city.


	16. something familiar

“What is this smell?” one of the men commented when we were a few minutes away from reaching the wooden walls of the city. Even though it wasn’t that late one could feel the fires burning bright and high, the city was the complete opposite of what we left. Full of life and sound. “But the wind isn’t coming from Valyria.” I mumbled and a shocking realization overcame me. “THEY ARE BURNING HUMANS!” was another outcry of one of the men behind us. The smell was awfully sweet, and the bitterness of burned flesh mixed together and twirled around to make a disgusting taste. When we slowly entered the city, we saw what had happen. On either side of the main road were the burned remains of pyres, further down the road where still burning ones and even further were some not ignited jet.   
I saw a man with a torch, just about to ignite a pile where an old man was mounted and forced back by ropes. I knew what was going on.  
I gave my horse the spurs. He reacted in an instant. We flew past choles, ashes, past screams, loosing themselves in the flames, people cheering, crying and vomiting. I reached for the dagger Sertus let me keep, found it, turned it with one swift motion of my fingers and threw it into the shoulder of the executioner. A scream for help vomited out of the crowd when they saw what happened. I jumped of my horse, took the speed with and forced the hooded figure to the ground. The torch lying next to him on the ground. I pulled the dagger out of the flesh and held the blade at his throat.   
“WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING??!” my voice wasn’t controlled; it was derailing itself and overturned many times in this short question. The man didn’t answer, maybe out of shock, pain or ignorance, he just asked: “Who are you?”  
I felt a pull around my shoulders, someone was lightly pulling me of the man.   
“please do not kill our executioner” a soft but firm voice, reinforced by the silence of the crowed emerged from the ground. “we are executing these filths by reason of treason and crimes against the city.” His voice was monotone and emotionless. Like a priest he recited his line with no hesitation or thought what weight was behind his words. “Now please let us continue, will you?” a chant flooded the streets of the city, “Burn the heretics, purge these lands of witchcraft!” a smile flew over the face of the noble in front of me, vanished but shortly after, “I know what you are doing! And it is not RIGHT!” I directed at the crowd. The noble answered, “Oh you say what is right? But by my knowledge the definition of something being right is set by the ones in power and you don’t have any power here miss Tagarien!”, “Oh I will show you who has power over whom!” I growled, ignoring his statement of my origin, even if it was wrong.   
With a snap of his fingers guards surrounded him, pikes and swords ready to fight.   
I readied myself, fingers on my sword, the dagger playing in my left hand. “She will kill you all, you know who she is don’t you?” Sertus asked with his young but dark and daring voice. A few of the men shrunk back, after hearing his aggressive statement. “No, you don’t?” his voice was now provoking, almost searching for someone to come try his luck. He continued, “That may be because nobody is left, who could tell the tale of Sherine Tagarien, Last of her Name, Dragonrider of the great City of Valyria, Commander of the Second Legion, the Black Dread!” his voice swell over of proud and I just stood there, with a name, I never deserved, never earned but now had. One could feel the tension in the air. The night was cold but of every participant in this standoff was dripping sweat. The streets were quiet, as in the moment before the signal of battle. The moment before you loosen the string of your bow, the breve moment after birth, before the baby starts to cry or stays silent forever.


	17. one moment

In my head I went through the fight, now maybe around the twentieth time. I knew I had to kill the executioner first, frighten the soldiers, then try to kill the commander, but who was he, the noble man, one of the guards. And if I’d kill the noble man first, would they stop, would someone try to bring him somewhere save, would he fight? Something was clear, I wouldn’t move for the first strike, because if I did, they would lose any hesitation and fight for their lives. If they were ordered to attack, they would hesitate and slip.  
“Teach her who has the power in this town!” I heard, but it was not the voice of the noble, it came out of the cowed. Before anybody could say something one of the men, a young, inexperienced fighter with a heavy polearm, covered in chain mail charged towards me. I could see how nervous he was, his eyes were filled with fear and this fear now catapulted him towards me.  
I stepped aside, waiting for someone to follow, but the noble held them back. I let him run past me, used my foot to pick up the torch and threw the burning wood in his back. Some of the pitch and sulfur stuck and burned a hole in his gambeson. He screamed, threw his weapon away and rolled on the ground, trying to extinguish the fire. I looked at him -pitiful.-


	18. going along

I realized a gap in the crowd, someone in a blue robe had made his way past the watching bystanders and cut through the air while closing towards us. No stress, no tension, nothing of the past moment was on his face, he walked upright and, in a way, as if the pavement was his own. “You should have killed him.” the man said, with a nasal voice. “For disrespecting you!” he added in an explaining manner, after I looked at him confused. “I’m sorry for what you have gone through.” Changing the topic in an instant. His apologetic words were not new for me. He was trained in the art of speech, like I was trained in the art of warfare. Trained as child, destined for something they were chosen for. My path was a way of violence and death. His was a path of study and luxury. I had to be wary of him, he could defeat me in ways I was defenseless.   
He signaled our group to follow him inside of the building. “Stop the execution for now.” He ordered the man still lying on the ground, holding his wound, made by now my dagger.   
We followed the man inside, I directed Senna to be beside me and asked Sertus, who was at my other side, “Who is he?“ , he just pointed at the end of the hall and said, ”He’s one of the 3 rulers of Tyria.” The man sat on an empty chair in the middle of two elderly men, also wearing blue silk robes. When we were told to step forward, only Sertus stepped forward, signaled Senna and me to do the same. “My lords!” he spoke out and bowed. “These are Sherine and Senna, we found them…” I followed a man with my eyes, sneaking behind the right man and whispering something into his ear. He interrupted Sertus, “Yees Yees, we do not need to hear her odyssey into our city.” The others nodded. “You are welcome Sherine of old Valyria, of the house Tagarien, dragonrider and last hero of the city.” A trumpet announced my presence. “Didn’t you forget something?” The youngest of the 3 asked in a poking way. “I do not think I did, or do these things you were announced with still exist?” The question was directed at me and I shook my head absent-minded. “We can’t hear you girl! Speak up!” The oldest man stood up and squinted his eyes tighter, trying to get a better look at me. “They do not.” I replied shortly. I slowly figured out what to think of the situation. I straightened up, let my solider attitude drop and picked the attitude of a noble up. “You and your servant are welcome here. We would like you to stay and eat with us.”, the man from outside invited us. Before I opened my mouth to deny the position of Senna when the man on the left ordered slaves around and a tumult within the hall started to uproar. “The meeting has been ended. The three have spoken.” one of the must be advisors announced. “The food will be served in one candle-rotation.”   
“Well then, here is where our ways part for the moment.” Sertus stated.   
“For the moment, yes.” I answered, “But don’t you think you heard the last of me, I was never popular with the nobles.” He smiled, “I figured.”   
A man in a fancy dress up came towards us. “Me lady. At your service!” his clothes were of silk, but the colors were of lesser quality and more quantity. A heavy dress covered his bulky figure. “I am here to dress you for the coming occasion.”, his monotone and elitist voice made the statement seem like an order, but I wasn’t ready to receive orders just jet. “Wait, we first need to talk about something, first she’s not my servant, second you will make sure the men of the expedition are well paid!”, he nodded while hearing the second part. “What is she then if you don’t mind my question.”, I was about to bombard him accusations of improper attitude and as my lips opened, “She’s my sister.” Senna’s words flew past me. The man looked confused. Scanned me and then Senna. His conclusion was; “A nādrēsy?” I looked at him as if I was about to flay him alive. “a naedeesi?” Senna asked, while botching the pronunciation and making a few servants laugh. A whip made them stop. “I am terribly sorry me ledi.” A servant approached us from behind while mocking her pronunciation. “It means, you are illegitimate, a bastard.”, laughing ensued. Before Senna could jump at his throat, I intervened, “Whip him!” I ordered with a cold face. “I don’t have the authority…” I interrupted him, “Do it or I will do it myself! And YOU will have to clean up the mess. That I can assure you!”, while saying that I lifted my sword a little out of the scabbard and let the metal reflect the candlelight. His face got white. He silently ordered a guard to do as I commanded. “And while we are developing something like order, I legitimize her.” His mouth dropped. “With that she is higher in command than you are, and you will follow her orders. You understand?”, he was clearly not expecting me to have him cornered. He only could spatter out something that closely resembled words. “yy yyo you CAN’T!”, I was enjoying this a little too much, but I couldn’t quite stop jet. “I can and I already did. And if not me who else? I am literally the highest person in command of the whole city of Valyria.” I knew this argument wouldn’t hold against people with more skill in a small word fencing duel, but here I could use the sentence I wanted to use since leaving the city. Senna was pleased. When I looked at her, I saw a big satisfied smile rolling over her face.   
“You wanted to give us something to wear?” I again directed my attention at the defeated man. He straightened up, “Yes. Please follow me.” He led us towards a simple door, he opened it, letting us past him. He closed the door after us. “This is huuuge!” Senna gasped. I saw dresses, lined up from normal citizen to dresses for the nobles of the city. “Who will we ever decide?!”, Senna’s astonishment wasn’t completely brought out jet. Candles illuminated the vast hall, extending next to the main building. “You found your little princess?” I jokingly asked. “It would be strange if she didn’t.” a young voice came out of hiding. A girl, a little younger than me, tangled up with yarns of the most eccentric colors, slid into our field of view. “I’m the master dresser.” She introduced herself. “And you are the ones I’m supposed to dress?”, she started hushing around the hall, throwing things around, collecting and dismissing, all in a speed, my eyes couldn’t easily follow. Senna didn’t even try. She started looking around like a cat, touching things, feeling the fabric and judging the designs. “These are a little too noble for you!” the young master yelled from the other side of the hall. I could hear Senna hissing. “Ai ai, just don’t make anything kaput.” Senna again started going through the dresses.   
Maybe she would have liked the banquets of Valyria. The vast selection of the best foods, of the best chefs from everywhere the dragons could fly us. Dresses, the fancy women and man, dancing to foreign music.   
I chased these thoughts off.   
“You do not look like someone who would wear a dress normally.” The girl was now standing right next to me. “No, I wouldn’t.” I agreed. “Undress please.” She didn’t command, she didn’t expect me to do anything, she just asked. “I need to see, what I have to work my magic on.”, she smiled, the first person I met in this city, I could cope with. She had a resemblance of someone I knew. Someone I lost.   
“You don’t need…” she started as I was pulling down my pants. As she looked at me something came out of her mouth, quiet, feeling my pain as if it was hers, “how did you survive?” my left leg was still black and blue, in the middle, where my sword was located a faint yellow glowed. “It is healing.” I said without looking, “It looks bad.” she added, “I had worse.” It was clear I didn’t want to talk about the pain, but she poked deeper. “Your back? What could do something?”, she stared into the dying skin. A short smile overcame me. “It’s not as bad as it looks.” My downplaying didn’t work as intended. “If its not as bad as it looks, let me touch it.” She snipped at me. “Please don’t.” I grinned. “Just give me something that is soft at these places, something I can move in and protects me at least a little.” She just shook her head. “I am the master dresser, but I am no magician.”, she paused, “You still have time, go to the healer…” she interrupted herself. “He is already dead, isn’t he?” I asked when she didn’t continue. She snapped back “She, … no, she’s in prison, still alive, but to be executed…” She wasn’t looking at my injuries anymore, eyes on the ground, tears dropping down her cheeks. “I will see to that.”, I took her head between my hands and looked deep in her eyes. I saw something in them, a spark, a flicker. A flicker of resentment, then gratitude, then fear. I turned around, heading for the door, “WAIT!” the girl threw herself in front of me. I looked at her confused, “what is it?” I asked nicely, not wanting to be shroff or repellent. “Your clothes, I wouldn’t go out there without them. When you come back, I’ll have new ones for you.”, I cackled quietly, took on my clothes and was out. Into the floods of people.


	19. against the current

There was a multitude of people, all indifferent from each other, everyone was wearing the same shabby things, preparing a great feast.   
I tried to cut through them, like the noble do, high head and steady steppes. They didn’t let me, hitting in me, pushing me around and not letting me move forward. – This is a mess! – went through my head. A pain coursed through my back, some dipshit rammed into me, making me fall to the floor. Biting on my though to not scream on anguish I hissed at myself, – She is right, I need help! -, trying to get up, now hushing, evading everyone, getting out of this river filled with woods, trying to hit me. The last meters I forced my way out, pressing forward, with closed eyes and elbows out. Screaming to let me out of this maze.   
I stumbled out of the gate I came in; I saw the piers still standing, none were burning anymore, and the chilling night air had returned. The streets were now close to empty, only a few people were still out, when the spectacle was stopped by me, seemingly everybody fled the scenery.   
I felt watched, I felt turning back, to watch over Senna, I grabbed my sword firmly, continuing my nightly walk.   
The prison was a big place, too big for a city this size.   
I entered the large building, the torches weren’t lit, and a dark black hole, with sounds lingering in the great halls. “perzys!” I whispered and created a little flame in my hand, small and soft, but lighting up my way. The little heartbeat was flickering in the darkness as if there was a current of air flowing through the dark tunnels ahead. I passed the cells, lightening them up, one by one, until I reached the first inhabitant of one. He seemed scare, cowered in a corner, trying to hide from the light. “What did you do?” I asked, trying to light up the whole cell, “Where are the guards? I need to speak to one of them.” He just cowered in the furthest corner of his little chamber. I turned away, walking down the hall. My little light dancing in the wind of my steps. A man leaning at the bars of his cell looked at me, squinting, when I came closer, he didn’t look like a prisoner, his black hair was tidy, his clothes clean and shining white. “White one, get closer!” he demanded, I kept my distance, “What do you want?”, “You are looking for someone.” He predicted, “I can help you with that.”, I observed him, trying to sense something, read his intentions, but he looked blanc, a white piece of paper, nothing written on it. “What would you gain of that?” I asked, still a bit defensive, “Oh I just want to help a young beautiful girl.” He smiled with an ugly, uncomfortable look, devouring every peice of me with his eyes. “Well then, I’m in search for a healer, who was imprisoned here.”, his eyes flickered, “Oh, this is a tasty information, for that, I would like to have something.” I looked at him, he looked greedy, “What is it then?” focusing on his hands, clean, no dirt beneath his nails. “I want to touch your hair, white one.”, “Why?”, I was unsure of his request, it seemed weird, “I never touched a white ones hair, and this gives me so much of information of them, more than a thousand words could ever do. Call it exchange of information.” -It’s just a weird kink of him… - I thought, “If you try anything weird, I’ll cut your hand of!” I opened the knot holding my hair up in a ponytail and came closer. His hand was reaching for me. The bars the only thing holding him back. Shivers were running down my spine, I felt like I was trapped, he had the power over me, not I over him. I hated it. With my right hand I held the flame up, now bigger, reflecting my feelings, flickering nervously around. My left, hovering over my sword. “Why so untrusting white one? Have I given you a reason to not trust me?” I shook myself. “No, but you haven’t given me any reason to trust you.”, he again smiled, with his white, shining teeth, but still it made shivers run down my spine. “Touch them, when you want this so bad.”, leaning my head towards him, letting my long hair fall down, towards his hands. “Yeeahs. Sooo smooth…” from one moment to the other he pulled on my hair, grabbing my left hand and strangling the fire in my hand, I pulled my sword, feeling, that I cut something, a scream, darkness, I heard steps, I turned towards those, my sword in hand, A hand grabbing my leg, another pulling at my clothes, then, nothing, black, little white stars lighting up in the distance.


	20. Jill

I ran out of my tent, when voices were getting louder and tumult brake out. “What’s going on?!” Daser was carried between two other man, he himself was holding the stump of his arm, where formally his hand was. Cursing and crying at the woman carried on the shoulders of Marter, the biggest man in the camp but also the strongest and lovably called Mr. Bigfoot. “Miss Dorne, good that you are awake! You will stand guard, we made a big catch tonight!”, General Tyonek laughed, I couldn’t else but notice the big open flesh wound running over his belly, which cut straight through his mail and undershirt. Others had similar injuries, “Don’t you think I am a bit overqualified to stand guard?”, I took careful attention of his reaction, “Miss Dorne, if I toughed you were overqualified, I wouldn’t order you to stand guard.” He read my strafing looks around the camp, “You may ask sergeant.”, “What happened to you?”, “You mean who happened to us.” He smiled, “That’s the reason, I think you are not overqualified for this task, she happened to us.” Pointing at the woman getting transported into a tent. “Now get dressed and stand guard. Sergeant!” he turned away and headed towards the medic tent, where a line of six to seven people were waiting in front of.


	21. an unexpected reunion

When I was in full battle gear, my old armor on, underneath my chainmail, I entered the tent. I expected a battle-hardened warrior monstrosity, but I only saw a slim girl lying on a field bed, her hands bound together, and feet tied up at post thrusted into the ground next to her, her head covered by a bag. I felt stupid, this feeble woman had dismantled the squad of Tyonek, how shameful… And I was now watching over her in full armor, while she’s tied down, helpless and definitely no threat.  
I opened a strap on my armor to relive myself of the weight of the piece of metal I had grown out of, but no smith around here could refit it and a new one would be much too expensive. “Keep it on!” the voice under the bag growled, “You will need it!” The hands of the woman began to quake and shut themselves into fists. The voice, it was familiar, -this big of a fish? – I asked myself, then it hit me “SHERINE!” I shrieked and ripped the bag of her face, she squinted at me, “Traitor!” she growled, when she recognized me. It was a word I hadn’t expected to hear. It was so long ago. “You don’t deserve this armor!” her raging voice vibrated of anger and hatred against me. I retreated a few steps before regaining control, “I walked away from evil, you know I couldn’t stay!” Her face was painted by hate, fear and pain. “You are injured, let me help.” She shook her head so violently, I feared she would break her neck, “I’d rather die than let you touch me again, Traitor!”, the hand I reached out for help I quickly retreated, I still feared her. I was larger than her, stronger than her, but she was already a master, while I was but a learner in the arts of warfare. Of the time I remember, she was always number one. “You should be more respectful with me, I’m responsible for you and that means, when I say one word, or better I don’t say a word, you will get chained up and thrown into a pit to rot.” -this was a flat out lie-, her eyes tired up, “Why?”, I saw my chance, “This is the place a killer and solider of old Valyria belongs, don’t you agree?”, she just shook her head, “Why did you leave us? Why did you leave me? What did I ever do to deserve this?”, I looked down on her, -I’ve never seen her cry- “That’s it! You did nothing! In the face of injustice, you didn’t do anything! You even enforced it!” I snapped at her. “It wasn’t only that you followed orders! You were a pawn in their games, and you enjoyed it!” My words cut deep and her eyes widened even more, “You believe I enjoyed it?! You knew me better than this!”, “What I knew, was that you were as stubborn as loyal, never question, never ask for the purpose, always be a people pleaser!” I only realized now, that I was screaming at her, “I hated myself for my decision for years!” I added with a softer voice. “Well, I’m still hating you now!” she screamed, “You could have at least asked me! That’s what friends do!” I ran out. Threw my breastplate in the corner and jumped on my bed and screamed in a pillow. “Anything wrong Jill?” the friendly bigfoot stuck his head into my tent. With red swollen eyes, I answered, “Please, can you take my shift for today? I will make it up to you.” He nodded, “get some sleep, you look awful.” He smiled and vanished in the darkness.

“Jillian Dorne! You are not paying attention?! We’ve known to see this from you Miss Dorne, but don’t drag Miss Ash down, with your shameful behavior! But I must say, I am disappointed! A member of the Dorne family, so disgraceful.” I kept silent. After Sherine aced the combat challenges she was the new favorite. Before, I was the one, giving her support, standing in for her, but now, when she could help me, nothing. We were always together, ever since we were trained in the fighting pit, away from the others. I helped her out, out of kindness, but she never returned the favor. I tried to get closer to her, but the older we got, the colder she became. When she was younger, she always talked about her dreams and wishes. She wanted to become the greatest dragonrider to ever exist. She wanted to hunt and punish every slaver around the world. Cleanse it from the stain of inhumanity. But now, everything she did, was to please the watching eyes of the observers. I hated it.   
“That’s all for today! Don’t forget to practice the lightning rune!”  
“What are we gonna do today?” Sherine asked, after the class was over, “Well I know, what you are gonna do.” I poked at her, “You are gonna sit in your room and practice the new rune.” She looked down at me, still sitting in my chair. Her eyes spelled it out – that hurt, you know it’s not my fault- “You know, I’m not good with magic, I need the practice, but today we are free!” She hugged me from behind, laying her little body on my wide back. “I don’t want to fight with you.” She purred in my ear. “What do you want?” I stood up, lifting her with ease from her feet. She laughed, “Let me down!” I remembered how we played dragonrider before, before we had the pressure of tests and had to practice all the time. I let her down. “You know what? I want to have some fun!” I was surprised, “YOU? FUN? I didn’t know you still know this word.” She kicked my shoe. “Stop that!”, her eyes hushed around room. “We are alone.” She stated with a smirk on her face.


	22. nothing more

“DORNE!” I stood on my feet in an instant. “You. Had. An. Order!” In the past I would have been quiet, but I quit to escape this suppression. “Only, because of your family, you won’t get a special treatment!”, “Sir, you lied to me.” Tyonek looked at me with eyes as if I was mad, “Did I?” he asked as angry as he was when he came into my tent. “She is no one.” I looked down on him. “She was someone. A few days ago, she was ---”, “I really don’t care for her history, she is someone in that city, otherwise there wouldn’t be this much noise about her missing. I want you to stand guard and no excuses!” I rolled my eyes, again, not listening, not understanding. The reason I left. “Sergeant!”, “yes sir. ---” he turned on the spot and strutted out of my tent.   
I strutted out of my tent, only my sword at my side. The guard at the entrance mustered me with a critical eye. “A healer is with her.”, “Cool.” I pushed him aside and entered the tent, that was even bigger than mine was, but only a bed and a chair were placed in the room. The floor was laid out with fresh straw and a light was hanging from the support beam.   
She sat upright and let the healer do his work. Her bare white chest glistered against the young sun of the day, shining though the gap in the curtains. -She did not change a bit- “What are you doing here?” Sherine hissed at me, “Kuno had the decency to get out, while the healer is doing his job.” I looked at the wound at her side, watching the healer, carefully spreading a nice smelling ointment on the place, where once skin was. “Who?”, she looked at me with a question mark on face. “The big one. Who came after you, after you left. Again. ---", “Yeah ---, bigfoot…” I wandered around her. She was only wearing her underpants and metal handcuffs. She had only a few new scars. “You are the only one I know, that has not a single scar on her legs.” I noticed, “Did you mad it a habit to sneak around people, and looking for scars?”, “no…” my eyes flicked between her black spots on her leg and her back, then to her waist. “What happened?” I asked, “I got distracted.” Was her short answer. “And who were you fighting?”, “Gravity.” She shook her head, “What is this? Why am I here?”, “You are our prisoner.” Was my blunt answer. “Who is “our”?”, “You don’t know? That’s new.” I poked, “You were hunting me for over a year!”, she looked down and shoved straw away with her feet, crating small bushes. “I would have run after you for much longer---” she paused and breathed in. I felt sorry, she seemed to have changed, it has been three years, when I ran away. “When I joined this group, it was small. The leader, now general Tyonek, found me hiding in the woods. He saw something of himself in me and gave me a space to sleep and stay, stay save. This was one year ago. He gave me a new home, after two years.”, “I swore, I vowed, in front of your parents.” She started, “I’d find you, bring you back home. I failed; they never forgave me. They thought I gave up.”, “How are they?” I asked, fearing the answer. “They were destroyed, when I was ordered to stop my obsessive hunt. I knew you didn’t want to come back, you never wanted to be found... I never told anyone. You were always only a traitor to me. The others never new. Not that any of this matters now. They are dead, as all others are…” I didn’t know what to say. “Thanks, I guess.”, that’s not enough I thought. “I didn’t know what to do.” I walked in front of her and sat down, trying to look into her ocean blue eyes. “I still don’t. If I had found you…” She trembled and in one motion was at the throat of the healer, “Do you want to kill me?!” her side was open, bleeding again, dropping thick blood on him. She got of him, turned around to me and sat down, seemingly being as calm as if nothing had happened. I was standing, my sword out, in front of me. She seemed confused, “He hurt me.” she apologized. “I saw that.” I answered, my sword still in front of me, but not in a threatening stance anymore. “You can’t do that.” I tried to calm myself, “I could have cut you down because of that.” She shook her head, “you can try”, the healer got up, slowly and carefully, he resumed his work. She laughed silently, “You never won against me.”, “You can talk all you want, but you won’t get a chance, till you have healed fully.” I smiled at her; a short smile flew over her face. “Can you do me one good?” she asked, pointing with her head at the metal cuffs. “These are driving me crazy…”, “I know, I will talk to the general. Anything else?”, “no, nothing more.”  
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” Tyonek screamed, spitting in my face, “YOU HAVE KNOWN HER FOR WHAT?”, I punched him in his guts. “You will listen to me now! I have had enough of your arrogance! Your fucking ordering around and shouting! I JOINED you, with the thought, that you were different, but as it seems, with a little power, you are the same as everyone else! Your promises of making a difference, helping the innocent, you abducted an innocent woman!” Tyonek was still holding his stomach, “You think she’s innocent?” he laughed, “The prison was close to empty!” he straightened up, “They burned most of them!” he got closer “Without trials, without mercy!” now, he was so close, he was only whispering, “She was in the prison, looking for someone to burn.”, “You are lying!” I pushed him away, “It can’t be true!” -I toughed she changed…-


	23. confessions

I entered the prison tent. “I have a rope.” Sherine looked up, she had been sitting on the bed, cross-legged. “Are you meditating? … Never mind that! I know, that these metal cuffs are hard to sit though, I know your history. But before I change the bindings, I need to know something. Why where you in the prison?” she tilted her head, “You’ve seen why.”, “What have I seen? It does not matter, what you say now, I will change the cuffs, so tell the truth.”, “I was looking for a healer.” Nodding towards her injuries, “An older woman, you can ask that creep, who likes to touch hair.”, “The one you cut his hand of?”, “Yes, I talked to him, he said, he could help me for a small payment, of touching my hair, he then pulled at it, extinguished the flame, I was carrying and holding me in the dark. I told him before, if he would try anything, I would cut him. He did and I did. I heard somebody casting a sleep spell, forbidden by laws of Valyria…”, “This is not, what I am interested in. Why where you in that city, what did you do there?” she seemingly got nervous, she didn’t know, what I really wanted, reading people was never her thing. Be honest and others will be honest with you. “I don’t know what you want to know. Another girl and I had survived the destruction of Valyria by the blood-mages. We saw a group of armed man camping outside, one or two days after the destruction. They seemed nice, and we followed them to their city. --- After all, there was not much to go anyway, no?”, “Did you know what they were doing?”, “no, I stopped the executions for the night, but with this daring kidnapping, the executions will continue. Also, I need to get back, Senna will be worried sick.”, “Who is Senna?” I asked astound, “Oh only the other person surviving the death of a whole city and a mage in a city of mage-killing maniacs…” she added jokingly, but I could hear her worrying, even though she did not want to let it look this way. “Hey!” she was holding her cuffs up, “Can you?”, I bound her hands together with a simple knot and removing the metal cuffs. She inhaled deeply, “Thank you, this is much better.” A sincere smile rested on her face. “It is late, I will leave you to sleep, when you need me, call for me.” She left the cuffs at the edge of the tent. “Wait! Why did you join this hunk of mercenaries, thieves and murderers?” I shrugged, “You may think of this group, what you want, we grew and learned.” -That’s not it is it? - I thought. “Well, there was something else. You don’t know, you can’t know. You don’t know how it feels, to really love! To marvel at the tone of someone’s voice, too see him, to look him in his eyes and think: these eyes are the ones our baby will have!”  
“Oh, I know that feeling, you think, you are the only woman, to ever feel that way? That the sky is only this blue for you, the colors of the flowers as bright, only for you?”  
“You felt it too? Then it is true! True love, when even you had felt it!”  
“Yes, I’ve felt it. A long time ago. I looked at her face, her honey golden hair, falling from her beautiful face, her brown eyes, like an ocean of ambrosia. Her lips as strong as gentle, like the person behind.”  
“You are describing someone I don’t know, do I? Who was she, what happened?”  
“She ran, I tried to stop her, but she never looked back once. Only when I was forced, by thread of my live, I stopped chasing. But I never stopped dreaming.”  
“You, you mean … ME?! I’ve never known…”  
“Don’t kidd yourself! Even if you had known, you would have never chosen differently!” she barked at me, “You broke my heart! And I’ve never recovered! I am bitter, I am unfriendly, I question everything and everyone, that ever did something good for me! I don’t trust! I always think, what is the worst thing, that person can do to me. And I expect it to happen, to not be as disappointed with them, as I was disappointed in you!”  
“I know, this is not enough, but I am so---”  
“Stop it! You were never and you will never be! When you realize that, we may talk again, but till then. Stay away!”  
I slowly left the tent. A tear was rolling down my cheek. Was it true? Was I that person, she described me to be? What I have done, could she ever forgive me, could I ever forgive myself?


	24. résistance

I was open, the first time in --- ever. I didn’t think, I didn’t watch for my words, they just poured out of my mouth. Was I wrong? I stared at the point Jill just stood before me.   
I started to focus again. She did help me with my plan. -What will they do, when they realize, that she helped me escape?– I shook my head, -Why would I care, she didn’t, when she left. Why?-   
“perzys”, the little flame, returned, dancing in my palm. I started carefully burning the rope. “General?!” I heard the soldier outside performing a shaky and salute, “Dismissed!”, “Sir?”, “GO!”, I heard him scream at the man. The fast steps of the soldier walking away sounded, like he was sprinting as fast as he could. I closed my palm, the flame vanished. “Stand up!” the general ordered, I followed, I heard him entering the tent, the straw crunched beneath his heavy steps. The sound of his boots misrepresented the man entering now. “I know you.” I thought and spoke out loud at the same time. He was smaller, than I expected. His back was bent down and had a patch over his belly. “Well, I have a popular face.” He said smugly. “Now, I am general Tyonek.” I mustered him from boots to hair, he had two swords at his sides and one dagger. One sword was plain and crudely assembled, the other one, was mine. He drew Keeper. “This is a nice sword you got there.” I hissed though my teeth. -His face, I knew it!- “Exactly, it’s the best sword, I’ve ever held in my hands.” He balanced it in between his fingers. “It is almost like cheating.” he looked at me with a grim smile. “I know, it’s not fair, your girlfriend is out there serving me, and you are stuck in here. But, as well she is serving me, … I bet, you could serve me better.”, “She is not---“, “A! A! A!” he interrupted me, “I have no interest on your kaput relationship.” -I need to hold myself back- “What is it you want?” I asked with a bluntness and apathy, he couldn’t misunderstand. “As well, as Jill has served me, and will serve me… A man needs some … variety” he came closer, “Will you serve me as well, or do I need to take my way?” with a grim smile he came closer, my sword still out, resting on his shoulder. I slowly retreated, backing into a corner. He dropped his belt on the ground. “No need to fear, I’m not too big.” The dirty laugh, that followed made shivers run down my spine. “You really are underdeveloped!” I commented, when his trousers dropped. He dropped the blade and sprung towards me, as if he was a dog and I was his plaything. -Wrong move.- With a small movement of my feet, I dodged his pounce. He flew past me into the straw. Before he could rally, my hands were on my sword “PERZYS!”, the ropes coughed fire and my hands were free, the general to my feet, “You disgust me! Go shackle yourself!” pointing at cuffs lying at the corner of the tent next to him. “One wrong move and I will make a necklace of your entrails!” he followed, “Now get on that bed and stay still.” When he laid down, I grabbed his belt and bound his feet. When my eyes strived over his crotch, he was still hard, “You are enjoying this, aren’t you?!” I threw his pants over his small dick, “Well, it isn’t easy to not be exited while you are wearing this attire.” He smirked, - he still thinks he’s in control…- I didn’t think about what I was wearing before, now I realized, short underwear, a short, cut of top and a bandage over my left side of my hip, up to my belly, nothing more.  
“Are you not going to…?” the blade at his throat made him shut up. “It wasn’t smart to dismiss your guard, especially, when I caved a group of you up like a fucking pie!”   
“Maybe not smart but calculated.” He was still in a smiling mood. “When I get out of this and you are gone or stay, I know, who will be disappointed in you, and will be burdened with your punishment. So, I would advise you to be a good girl and sit on my face or dick, your choice.”

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter is going to be called; against the current


End file.
